Between Life

Chapter 10: Unexpected Connections

At night...

I lay on my bed, reminiscing about today's psychology class discussion. Upon reflection, the words echoed a familiar tune to my past experiences. I recalled moments when I refused to show weakness to others, always feeling responsible for everything, which led me to become overly independent.

There was a time when I longed to shed this burden, to reveal my vulnerabilities and admit that I needed help, that I wasn't as strong as perceived. Yet, in that moment, I chose the wrong person to confide in. They did nothing, just stood there silently, as if my struggles were inevitable. Because of them, I grew reluctant to expose my fragile side, and it ultimately led to my demise at my own hands. But truth be told, I had died long before... not physically, but spiritually.

In this new life, I intend to seize the opportunities that were once out of reach in my previous existence. It may sound selfish, but I don't care. I was too focused on others back then, forgetting that I, too, needed to be heard. I want to prioritize my own happiness now, while still remaining mindful of the world around me.

Knock... Knock... Knock.

I heard someone knocking on my bedroom door as I delved into memories of my past life.

"Who is it?" I called out.

"It's me, Dad," came the reply from outside before the door creaked open, prompting me to sit up straight.

"What's up, Dad? Do you need something?" I asked, puzzled.

Dad shook his head and said, "No, I just wanted to have a chat with you. I don't get to talk to you often, especially since I've been quite busy at work lately. Am I disturbing you?" he inquired.

Even if I were busy, I would always make time for Dad. I shook my head slowly while looking at him. Dad suddenly stroked my head affectionately, gazing at me with love. "My beautiful daughter, look how grown up you've become. Time flies so fast, it's hard to believe that you and your brother are already teenagers, on the brink of adulthood. It's a sign that your mom and I are getting older too. I hope we can live long enough to see you both grow," Dad said softly.

For some reason, tears welled up in my eyes and slowly trickled down my cheeks. "Dad, you and Mom are the best, even in my version of life. I'm grateful to be born into this life, to have amazing parents like you, and a brother. I should be the one apologizing. My brother and I might not have been the children you wished for, and I feel like our mistakes outweigh yours and Mom's," I said, chuckling softly after the last word.

"Dad only asks for one thing, right? So, I also have one request for you and Mom: the same message, be happy. I also hope that my parents can live long, even longer than me. I want to always be pampered by you, even when I'm no longer young. I want to always have a place to come back to after the weariness of the outside world. I want to see you both every day," I said.

My dad pinched my cheek lightly, chuckling, "You're quite greedy with your requests," he said.

"Well, I'll keep praying for that incessantly until even God gets tired of hearing it and has to grant my wish," I said.

"You've been acting differently lately, haven't you? It's like a change in your attitude, too attentive and always responding to Mom and me with sweet words. Well, you've always been like that, but it's been more so lately." Dad said, making me break out in a cold sweat.

"Dad, is being a parent really that hard?" I asked so i can change the topic. Dad fell silent for a moment, then said,

"Hmm, why do you ask about that? You're not, by any chance, pregnant, are you?" Dad's blunt statement made me stare at him in shock.

"Dad, you're crazy! How could I be pregnant? I'm still in high school, and I don't even have a boyfriend," I retorted, which was met with laughter from Dad.

"Just kidding, you're taking it too seriously. But seriously, no getting pregnant until after marriage," he said, and I rolled my eyes lazily.

"Being a parent is hard, incredibly hard. You know why? Because great children are born from the guidance of great parents, right? Now, how do parents think about educating their children, especially keeping up with the times? How can parents be a friend, a home, a teacher, and many other roles for their children? So, being a parent is also difficult in terms of recognizing the character of their child. We're lucky that you and Asher are still open about feelings because, out there, many parents don't recognize their child's character, while the child knows their parents' character very well," Dad continued.

I nodded, "Is it difficult to raise Asher and me?'' I asked again.

"Of course, especially that mom and dad have to raise you both differently because of your different characters. Asher, your brother, has always been naughty and mischievous since he was little. He can't stop talking, always chattering away. It's so exhausting because of his hyperactivity. Meanwhile, you, on the other hand, are quite the opposite. You're calm and composed. If I say no, you understand right away. But, that's what worries Mom and me because with your calm nature, it seems like you'll have difficulty opening up about your feelings. Mom and I don't know when you're comfortable with something or uncomfortable with something, unlike Asher, who gets angry or cries if he doesn't like something. You've always been obedient, even until now. And Asher, well, he's still as crazy as ever," Dad said, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe his children were growing up like this. Well, at least we're growing up to be good human beings, aren't we?

"What are you two talking about? It's almost midnight, quickly go to bed. Seraphina, you have school tomorrow and your dad has work tomorrow too. Let's sleep," Mom said, suddenly appearing.

Dad glanced over, "Yes, my queen," he said, winking one eye. Absolutely crazy! It's so hilarious. "Eww, how can you guys be like this in front of me? Ugh, get out of my room. I'm getting goosebumps," I said, followed by their laughter. Mom and Dad left my room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.