Crownless: The Fallen World

Chapter 5: Internal Conflict (TW)

The commotion that was supposed to die down began to go wild again.

There were two people who suddenly collapsed without rhyme or reason. Fortunately, the doctor checked their breathing as he instructed the men to carry their bodies out of the train. They loosened their nerves when the doctor told them it was not life-threatening, and the patients were only asleep. The passengers in the cab gradually calmed down. They breathed out a sigh of relief as their strength left their bodies.

However, with Sebastian's enhanced hearing, he could hear the screams from the other passenger cabs. He tightly closed his eyes, regretting he couldn't fulfill the small promise he gave Hale earlier.

Even if he did go and save them, he would be risking his life by being discovered by that man. He was thankful for the pride of the assassins. They would only carry out a simple order, and they would do everything from tracking down to disposing of the bodies. The only reason why Sebastian remained hidden because he would kill every person who came to kill him or even had the slightest evil intention.

If he showed up now, his face would be shown to the public, reaching far wide through media coverage. He could still disrupt any nearby devices that could leak his real identity and travel safely through fake identities with slight altercations on his face. That was his safest bet.

He was currently worrying about one thing.

There was one passenger cab that didn't have any injured personnel. The hired assailants were currently unconscious and paralyzed. This passenger cab was right behind the cab with private boxes. He and Hale went in together and alighted from the same carriage.

That only meant every people in the two passenger cab would get investigated. That was a very high risk.

He could only hope the people of Grafton Estate would be alive if the ones after him put two and two together. Sebastian could only do now was to protect Hale. He needed to eliminate the assassins coming after him once they boarded the ship to the Epoch Isle where the High Order Academy stood.

Sebastian mocked himself. He was already making fatal mistakes that could endanger the lives of the people with him. If he were alone, he wouldn't need to think about this and escape to another place until another pursuit came. The High Order Academy housed many students, and they would definitely get implicated.

Should he escape again? He was already so confused and conflicted. He wanted to take a step back and never take another step forward. It was much better when he was alone. He could have escaped alone. He should have lived alone. He should die alone. He shouldn't have met Hale. He shouldn't have returned when escape was already in front of him. He shouldn't have lived--

"Sebastian! Snap out of it!"

Sebastian's unfocused eyes turned to Hale. She was panicking, and concern was evident in her eyes. Something warm should have wrapped around Sebastian's heart... but all he could feel was pain. His heart was throbbing. He wanted to sink back, never to resurface again.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian asked as soon as he evened out his breathing.

"When the signal-jamming devices worked, I immediately contacted the people of the same academy to station themselves in the other cabs. All the personnel that rebelled are safe, but a few were injured. Thankfully, there aren't any deaths. But... are you okay, Sebby? I have been calling you but didn't get any response...."

Sebastian's mind went blank.

"There... are other students on the train?" He asked.

"Yes."

Sebastian opened his mouth. However, no words came out. His mind blanked.

"Sebby, you know that this is the only route that could take us to the High Order. So, of course, multiple students are aboard. I will still be boarding this train with them."

That.... that thought didn't even cross his mind. He was too focused on trying to solve everything by himself. He couldn't help it. All his life, all he did was to survive all by himself, a mission to do alone, and to die alone in the future. He couldn't trust anyone to do even a bit of his work. It was the thought that everything he planned for would crumble under the influence of someone and ruin the lives of many. He alone has already ruined a lot of lives. He couldn't possibly add any more to it. It was terrifying.

"Is everything okay, Sebby?"

"Ah, yes."

Hale was silently observing Sebastian as he blankly answered. Her eyebrows frowned, but she didn't inquire further. The man's complexion was pale earlier as if his mind was wandering through the abyss. He was even close to having a panic attack, so she had no choice but to jolt Sebastian awake. This matter made her wonder about what he was doing before they reunited. He was lively, bubbly, and strong when they were children. However, now, it seemed like he had been through so much that no bones in his body wanted to live. What was it that kept him alive? If not her or anyone?

What more could she do to give him another reason to live? 

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