Love Me Again

CHAPTER 27

FEW WEEKS LATER

She cursed mentally as she woke up again on the floor, her body cramped and aching from lying on the cool tiles for hours. This is what she always dreaded, waking up again just to see nothing changed. Just to see everything still as ruined as yesterday. 

It was difficult. So very difficult to live since she had lost every reason to be alive. 
The news she received 2 weeks ago, devasted her. Ruined her. She lost every single person that she had or she ever loved. 

She still couldn't process it. Everything was fine until it wasn't. No matter how hard she tried to remember anything- even a small detail of that night but she couldn't. She turned blank everytime. It seemed like her mind had blocked memories for that time duration. 
The only thing she remembers is waking up in the hospital bed, hearing the news, passing out then waking up and destroying the room in agony until the doctor, nurses and Naria forced her back to bed and injected something to make her sleep.

But sleep wasn't what she wanted. She wanted something permanent.

She was tired. Tired of living. Tired of crying. Tired of being emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. Tired of feeling pain everytime she took a breathe. It was really difficult living with the constant pain in her chest, tears flowing all the time, tiredness, old sweet memories and thoughts of him. 

She missed and craved him the most. How much she longed for him to hold her, comfort her, love her. If she could spend just one more night with him, she would and she would hold him so tightly that he could never leave her. 
She wondered how different her life would have been if she hadn't make that single mistake to trust the wrong person and to hide truth from the right person. If she had taken the right decision, everything would have been in place today. She would be cuddled in his arms, her baby fine and healthy and they would be waiting for their perfect family to complete. She knew if he was there with her, nothing would have happened. 
But it isn't like that.

Because she ruined it.

Maybe the problem was in her.

 Maybe she was the problem.

That's why everyone leaves her. Yes! She was the curse, the bad omen in everyone's life.

Her parents left her alone in childhood

Her love, her husband- he left her

His family left her

And now her baby left her as well

Maybe it was the right thing to do. It would be better if she stayed away from everyone as she ruins every life she enters. So it was the best decision that they could have taken.

She was clouded by feelings of depression and anxiety, she felt trapped with all these dark, gloomy thoughts. She really wanted all the pain and anguish to end.

Her eyes went towards the fruit salad on a plate kept on a nearby table but it wasn't the salad she was seeing. Her eyes were focused on the knife kept alongside it. Naria must have forgotten to keep it back in place.

Good

Maybe god was giving her a sign

A sudden motivation filled her mind, providing her body with a warmth that she has been missing for a long time now. She scrambled towards the table and took the knife in her hand. Its weight felt heavy in her hand but her body felt light holding it. 

Since she was wearing his old shirt, her legs were uncovered. Her medical training came in handy as she pressed the blade lightly on her inner thighs, immediately tearing her soft skin and oozing out blood. 

It hurt

It hurt real bad but the pain in her heart was still more, so she made the cut more deep by cutting her skin a bit more. More blood came out and the sight of blood felt soothing. It provided her body warmth from inside. She felt something other than numbness after days. 

So she did it some more. And some more. And on some other places. 
The blood flowing looked so calming and soothing. It felt too good. 

Addicted with the feeling of warmth, she took the knife near her wrist, placed it right above the nerves, took a deep breath while closing her eyes. His face was the only thing she could see. With a feeling of utter calmness and silence, she sliced her wrists.

Away from the pain

Away from everyone

Away from the non existent future

And she passed out.

______________________________________

Hey guys!! These incomplete files and assignments are gonna kill me one day. That's why these updates take so so long. 

Did you guys liked this chapter? I kept it short as new update will be soon. This was the last chapter of Part 1 of the book. Part 1 finally ends here!!!! 

Did you guys liked it? Plz vote, comment and share. The views have really dropped and it demotivates me a lot. 

Thank you for reading!!!!! Until the next time!!

- PS