Who Moved My Heart

Chapter 14

I didn't want to do that, because I would have a marriage that would be happy in front of people and miserable in a house because I was seeing all the red flags and still get into it. And it would become a problem down the line because he was taking care of everything.

Because he had kids with her, he felt obligated to answer at all times and to help at all times. But whenever she calls she doesn't ever get to the point; it's like she goes everywhere around but the children; and that was a really big problem for me. 

So I looked at the situation in the future, and my marriage with him was going to have a problem. I know the kind of person he is, this loyal person and an excellent dad. At that point, she would have messed up our relationship and our marriage. 

So I left it in her hands; she was there before, seeming like she was comfortable with the present situation and he didn't want her back but she was still interested in him, and that was my big problem. Maybe he didn't say to her in the beginning that I'm not coming back and this is the end of our relationship.

I will take care of my kids or whatever because it was not something that was benefiting me, so I left her, something like that. Maybe that is why she held on, maybe she thought the space and the time would be resolving whatever was going on between the two of them.

 So I didn't wanna be in the middle of any situation that was gonna cause me any harm or heartache to myself and my children. I tried to tell him this many times and he did not understand it, he usually says that there is nothing between himself and her; it's just for the kids.

 But all of a sudden, you two are sharing a home because you do not want the kids to live where they are living, so he takes the kids but he had to work and she was not working anymore at the moment, so she had to move into his home. 

I was not happy. I just looked at him and shook my head because it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see exactly what is going on. So in the time afterward, she was not getting her way with him the way she wanted to even though I stepped out, so she started to play my games; would tell him things about me or that I never loved him, I never cared. 

I have everything and I didn't need him, and she told him that I'm the kind of woman who would love you, but if you leave, after two weeks, I forget you. There was so much that was said to him, and he never said anything to me, until there was one day he couldn't take it anymore; he just said: I know this, and I know that, and I know that you never loved me. 

And it's only two weeks you'll mourn for me, and you just left me just like that. And they had this one time he said to me I know you are a beautiful woman; I know you are intelligent; you have everything, but your type of women are heartless and don't care. 

But how can your heart take that? I came in early, and I read that message, and I got him on the phone and I found him wherever he was that day and I let him have it. I said, 'You gotta be kidding me; you said this? How did we get to this point?' 

And then he responded, 'Yes, my childmother told me, you know that she's a woman, and this is how some women think.' And I said, 'Wait what? You're taking advice from your ex now? Are you stupid? Do you love me?' 

He said yes, more than anything in the world. I said, 'Your children's mother is in the house and she wants you back?' He said yes, but he told her that he loved me, and had my ring, and he will marry me, and she was like OK, I do not have a problem with that.

And then she is telling him these kinds of things, and he doesn't know what was going on. So I just walked away; I told him to stop texting and stop sending those messages. Whatever she is saying or whatever anybody else is saying please keep it to yourself. 

But one of his main concerns was if I had ever loved him, and I was so tired of explaining myself to him. Sometimes they say she's over you because they saw me and my brother and didn't know it was my brother and they had him going crazy. 

I told him at this point you're listening to everything you hear. You should not listen to anyone at all. I had to stay far away from him because of how I felt some days. 

I just wanted to be with him and just didn't listen to what God had to say about the situation. When you sit and look at it, it would have been your headache anyway, so I can sit out and let God have the last saying. 

Not that I was not tempted; I was tempted many times. I went to the beach with my kids one day, not knowing he was at the beach. I turned around and saw him coming out of the water, and he had on these pants, and he stopped, and his skin was down wet...