Who Moved My Heart

Chapter 10

That would have been a problem in my relationship, in my marriage, and I wasn't having that. I have my kids; he has his kids. And I strongly believe that every child needs their father in their life. Even though I walked away from mine, I still believe that kids do need their father. And he was a wonderful dad to his kids.

I am my dad about him because I had my concern one day about the baby not knowing him. After all, he wasn't in the other country. I sacrificed my relationship with the man who I love more than anything in the world, the man who gave me these sentimental feelings that I can't shake off. 

We will be passing each other on the road, both facing our cars, and my heart will be skipping a beat. And here I am, walking away from all of this. Many times, I look at myself in the mirror, asking myself, 'Are you doing the right thing? Is letting go the right thing to do?'

As I said before, this was the most handsome, sexy, teasing hunk of the day that I could not get enough of. I never had to ask for anything. I would have one of those long days, coming home before making dinner. If he had my home, he's going to help me about ten times before the night falls. I always ask him, 'Are you OK?' 

My relationship with him was priceless, but it was beginning to get harder and harder every day. Of course, she will make it harder for me, and I will not say anything because I am giving up my life.

He doesn't even feel the same way he used to feel about her because she will be right there, and he is speaking to me. And when I heard her voice or something, I would tell him I had to go. And he was like, 'Why?' I said, 'No, I have something to do. Somebody just walked through the door.' But I didn't like to speak to him whenever she was around. 

In the worst state of our relationship, I sat him down one day and I said to him, 'Tell me everything so I can understand what's going on?' So that's when he told me everything about the relationship, why they are not together, and what is the cause of it.

The one thing I did appreciate at that moment was his honesty with me, to the extent of deep honesty. So he did not want to miss it and align the relationship up because he thought that he had found the right one. 

Women in life identified him, I understand, but I did tell him. I think the child's mother was still in love with him, and it didn't quite hit him until the end. The relationship on the term that I did not see it. How is it? What's going to turn out?

But I know that she will not leave my marriage. My relationship with him is in peace. So it would have been me, him, and she was there that would accept anything. And that wasn't going to be good with me. And neither did I want him to pick me up and come to my house to live. 

I will be jumping into a relationship, and it would have one thing to the next. And before you know it, I am married, maybe pregnant again, and start having problems with a baby mother. So I consider all of this. It was a nice and easy decision for me to make. It is.

Was it hard? It moved me to think about everything. I feel like I have disappointed him. He felt like I didn't fight for him. But I could not fight for him because I'm a woman. Oh, my judgment. Always on point. And I look at this situation from all angles. 

How are we going to make it with the love that we have for each other? What's one thing? Our commitment. What's the next thing? But we had no intimate life. We hadn't made love or had sex. As yet. And he brought that up, trying it at me.  Telling me he waited for me this long. And now I am doing this to him. He even said to me, 'You, you were not attracted to me sexually in the first place.'

When he sent that to me, I was shocked. I was looking at him like, huh? Bro, you're not serious right now. I will hold him back because you were not single in my eyes. Even though he was technically. I was sweating most of the time he walked into my house or he hugged me or kissed me. 'Are you holding me too tight?' 

To him, I melted many times in his arms. I dare say in my mind. 'Do you know how many times I wanted to give in just seeing his sexy eyes? And when he smiled and the way he hugged me from behind, the way he kissed me on my forehead, the way he braced me into the wall. 

Whenever we have that, I give it to him. My rude mouth. He was saying, Say what you were going to say just now. Look, I'm here. And I will be speechless, sweating from head to toe.'