Angel face, Devil thoughts'

Chapter-9

Despite my dizzy state, I managed to make it to my room. My heart was thumping rapidly.
After closing the door, I began to move quickly around the space. I wasn't experiencing a panic episode. I could not be experiencing a freaking panic attack; therefore, I knew this wasn't one. I don't know what's going on, but I think it's heartbreak. A stinging sensation entered my chest at the notion of Lucas doing anything to harm me. People who have experienced heartbreak often talk about it as if it were nothing, but it is not. I've always assumed that people going through a breakup are overreacting, and I judge them and wonder why they can't just go on with their lives. I always told myself that heartbreak wasn't so bad. However, after going through one, I've discovered that it's a million times worse than they say. It's like losing a part of yourself. You lose your secure haven and your home. Nothing will ever be the same again, and I despise that feeling. The fact that I now realize he must have cheated on me. While I always put him first and loved him with my whole heart, he didn't mind shattering it. I curled up on the floor, holding my head in my arms. My heart rate had decreased, but I could still feel the wrath burning inside. Even after everything I've learned about Lucas, there's a part of me that wants to run into his arms right now. A part of me will continue to want to kiss him and melt into him.

The door suddenly swung open and Charles strolled in. I was embarrassed by the way my face looked. I was not crying. I hope I wasn't.
But I know my face was flushed with unshed tears, pleading to be released from my eyes. He didn't say anything; he just sat alongside me and handed me the glass of water. I looked at him for a short second before taking the drink from him. I swallowed it down and felt the lump in my throat go away.
The room was so quiet that all I could hear was our breath. I had no idea what to say, and I knew I had completely destroyed the interrogation. I should have pulled myself together and moved on, but instead I'm here upset at a guy who doesn't care about me.

I'm crazy. I'm fucking crazy. I returned my head to my arms, and this time I felt hot tears running down my cheeks. I only hope Charles didn't think I was weeping right now.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

"You know," Charles said, finally breaking the stillness and bringing me back to reality. I was drowning in my own sorrow and had forgotten I wasn't alone. I didn't lift my head back up, but he could tell I was listening. "It is alright to be sad or upset, but I want you to know that this pain will not continue forever. Don't let this heartbreak define you; instead, see it as an opportunity to learn and grow." He grabbed for my back, and I felt safe and warm in his arms.

"It's going to be okay," he whispers.

"Trust me, I understand how you're feeling and just remember that if he's stupid enough to walk away just like that, be smart enough to let him go."
That was very deep, and I felt it. He stood up, and I raised my head to look at him. I wiped my face with the hem of my shirt.
"I'm so sorry I ruined the interrogations. I promise we can try again and i won't—"
"It's fine," he says, interrupting me.
"We can continue tomorrow; just have some rest and think about the question I asked you."
Then he walked away.
What the fuck just happened?
Why was he so friendly to me?
Perhaps he pity me since I was going through a heartbreak.
Perhaps he had a plan to get everything out of me.

I only need to be two steps ahead.