To heal is to feel

The tinted Green Lake

My feet a connect with the ground with a little crunch of grass. I had to be quiet , cat like, just infill I hit the tree line.

I readjust the bow that returned to my shoulders quickly, picking up some arrows that fell out of its hold.

I press my back into the metal, huge fence. Tilting my head up and zooming my eyes into the guess posts.

I wanted to let out a ugly laugh at the realization there was no one up there. These people are so stupid.

I relax my shoulders before slowly descending my form into the woods. That was easier than I was preparing myself to be.

I walk around for a while. Enjoying how it only seemed to be me, the swaying trees, and the animals. I reminded myself once in a while to not wonder too far.

Although I do enjoy the trees music, it was getting almost sad. I didn't come out here to wallow in my sadness.

I think...

I start to hum a lullaby tune. A lullaby song mam used to sing to me. I wonder why she hasn't since I've reunited with her?

Does she not sing anymore? No- I heard her. If it was t for her singing the. We wouldn't be where we are today...

I wouldn't be here.

I hear the sound of running water and slowly stop in front of a lake, a small waterfall hiding beneath some vines and oak trees.

I walk the stream for a while, trying to see if there's any fish left. Who am I kidding? They all die as last winter probably.

Just like I should've.

I take off my armor, my vest, letting my hair creep over me as to shield me from the chilling wind. I lean over, my hands using a pile of ricks near the edge of the water to stab Alize myself.

The water was so clear. Yet there was a tint of green in its body. It was like it was trying so hard to be revealed as neat to the naked eyes.

Am I the tinted green lake? I think I am.

After I'm done admiring the color of the lake, my eyes catch the sight of the crescent moon phase. It sparkles its black dots at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

It was so beautifully portrayed in the reflection of the water where my head shoulder be. I'll take looking at the moon then my face any other night.

I feel my hands begin to slip on the soggy rocks, I look down at them. Simply. I let them move forward in a slow motion.

I'm this moment, I don't honk I cared that I would get soaked, that my hair will get frizzy, that the cold water will make me perhaps sick.

I let my hand slip off the ricks and my form slip into the water with nothing as a splashing sound.

With closed eyes, I let my shoes carry my weight to the bottom of the lakes floor. I felt a block in my cheeks and knew that the impact of the water was soothing the bruise.

My arms sway around me. Not to try to swim to the top, but to feel the free water chain my skin to the veins on the sides.

My eyes, my eyes were like stone. I don't think they blinked. I never know when I do blink so now is nothing special.

I'm so calm. This wouldn't be the first time I'm suffocating in a tinted color body of water. Or suffocating in general.

My hands sink into the rocks beneath my legs, using the weight of them to move along the skinny fish hiding in the weeds and stones.