twenty-three. ivy and the super-sized mcshizzle
IVY FELT RIDICULOUS, SHE HAD I <3 Leo printed on both sides of her face. Leo was even more ridiculous; he had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, and thanks to Ivy and some machine oil his hair was greased back. Hazel had drawn a tattoo on his biceps with a marker: HOT STUFF, with a skull and crossbones.
"What in the world are you thinking?" Hazel asks him as she finishes drawing the crossbones.
"I try not to think," Leo admits, "It interferes with being nuts. Just concentrate on moving that Celestial bronze. Echo, Ivy, you ready?"
"Ready," Ivy and Echo repeat.
Leo struts back towards the pond. Ivy and Echo follow behind him.
"Leo is the coolest!" He shouts first.
"Leo is the coolest!" Echo shouts back in unison with Ivy.
"Yeah, baby, check me out!"
"Check me out!" Echo echoes.
"Make way for the king!"
"The king!"
"Narcissus is weak!"
"Weak!"
The crowd of nymphs scatter in surprise. Ivy hangs onto Leo's arms as he pretends to shoo the nymphs away, "No autographs, girls. I know you want some Leo time, but I'm way too cool. You better just hang around that ugly dweeb Narcissus. He's lame!"
"Lame!" Echo says with enthusiasm.
The nymphs mutter angrily.
"What are you talking about?" One demands.
"You're lame," Another nymph argues.
Leo adjusts his goggles and smiles. He flexes his biceps, pushing Ivy away from him. He had the nymphs' attention, but Narcissus was still fixed on his own reflection.
"You know how ugly Narcissus is?" Leo asks the crowd, "He's so ugly, when he was born his mama thought he was a backward centaur — with a horse butt for a face."
Some of the nymphs gasp. Narcissus frowns.
"You know why his bow has cobwebs?" Leo continues, "He uses it to hunt for dates, but he can't find one!"
One of the nymphs laughs, but the others quickly elbows her into silence.
Narcissus turns and scowls at Leo, "Who are you?"
Ivy gasps, "You don't know who he is?!"
The nymphs look all around, whispering to each other.
"I'm the Super-sized McShizzle, man!" Leo announces, "I'm Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy."
"Love a bad boy!" Echo says, with a convincing squeal.
Ivy hands Leo a pen, the one she and Hazel had used to draw, and autographs the arm of one of the nymphs.
"Narcissus is a loser! He's so weak, he can't bench-press a Kleenex. He's so lame, when you look up lame on Wikipedia, it's got a picture of Narcissus — only the picture's so ugly, no one ever checks it out."
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love is embarrassing | j. grace
Fanfictionwaking up on a bus was not part of ivy's plan, especially not when her supposed boyfriend was holding hands with another girl. [ jason grace ] [ the lost hero - the blood of olympus ]
