love is embarrassing | j. grace

xix. the voices in her head long for camp

nineteen. the voices in her head long for camp

     IVY TRIED KEEPING LEO COMPANY as he built their giant warship but she knew she was mostly getting in his way and being annoying. If there was one thing the two had in common, it was their ability to annoy. And things were still slightly awkward between the pair.

She had already been banned from the Aphrodite cabin because she had disagreed with their list of Hunky Heroes, stating that Hercules — Heracles — deserved to be higher than this so-called Percy Jackson. And, she really hated archery so she would not be attending that class.

And ever since Ivy had attempted to retrieve their memories, Jason had been hiding in his cabin for the most part, and was only seen sword-fighting. Ivy wasn't going to risk getting in the middle of that.

It had struck her in the middle of the night and she'd run to Jason's cabin. She told him to make her mad or upset, whatever negative emotion he could trigger. It was all in the eyes. The keys to the soul. She was able to infiltrate his mind simply by focus and anger. Then, she was able to see their deepest memories, and when they were vulnerable, that's when she could attack. A manipulator of minds. She was the voice in their head telling them to do this or not to do that. Eat this, don't eat that. See that? No you don't. It's what she had done to that little girl all those years ago and what she had done to her mother. Child of madness did not refer to Bacchus rather, but to her mother. She had turned her mother mad.

She was able to retrieve Jason's memories, bring them to the surface, without turning him crazy, luckily. But she had a terrible feeling as hers began returning as well.

So, she sat alone at the little beach of Camp Half-Blood. She wondered if she was this lonely at Camp Jupiter. (She knew it wasn't true, Ivy remembered her friends and the times they had shared). (She also vividly remembered Jason and everything they had gone through). Ivy felt like an outsider to Camp Half-Blood, she couldn't make the connections that Piper, Leo, and even Jason had made with the people after they had returned from their quest. Ivy tried helping Will Solace in the infirmary, and that was okay, but she was mostly good at wrapping cuts and giving out ambrosia. She wished her bunk-mate was around, maybe that would make things easier. But he was apparently in college, and for the most part aged out of camp. (Though, they would never kick any half-blood in need of shelter out).

"Vee?" A voice says from behind her, startling her out of her thoughts. She turns to see Jason standing behind her, he was wearing a Camp Half-Blood tee with some athletic shorts, his blonde hair had grown out slightly and was shining brightly in the sun.

"Hey," She smiles and he takes a seat beside her.

They sit in a silence. (Although, for Ivy she never really had full silence. She could feel the dull ache of the voices as they conversed but she'd gotten good at tuning them out).

"No archery today?" Jason asks. Ivy notices he was sitting extremely close to her. He hadn't sat that close since their quest.

Ivy shrugs, "I've given up. I'm not good at it."

"All the more reason to practice it," Jason tells her.

Ivy scoffs, "Okay, wise guy."

"I'll help you train," Jason tells her.

"I do not need your help," Ivy glances at him, remembering briefly all the times they'd tried to train together and it always ended with them wrestling and angry.

Jason laughs, "Yeah, but I won't let you win!"

Ivy rolls her eyes, "You'll always let me win."