The Epilogue - Katniss and Peeta

Pain.

The doctor closes her files and then looks up at us. She then turns around and begins to walk towards Flynn's room, before pausing right outside.

"I suggest maybe giving these two some time," she says while looking into the room. "She seems to be taking it hard and I don't want any new surroundings to influence his decision."

Her eyes flicker to me before she begins to walk away, in the opposite direction of which we came. I turn to Peeta, who's staring at the ground, and I sigh.

I don't want to influence Flynn—this is completely his decision. But what if the decision he chooses hurts him in the end? What if it only hurts everyone, including him?

I just want him to be okay; for the sake of myself and every other person who cares for him. I can't imagine life without his witty and funny remarks, and his thoughtful and caring nature. I need him to be okay.

"We can't let him choose this by himself, Peeta." I start, in a slight state of panic. "I mean—what if he chooses just to die?"

"Then that's his choice, Katniss." He says quietly. "Our words shouldn't influence his opinion. What if we push him towards the surgery and he never recovers from it?"

"But he'll die without it." I say, tears threatening to fall.

He crooks his head while looking at me, and he gives me soft-looking eyes. He pulls me towards him, and as soon as his arms encase me, my tears ricochet down my cheeks.

"It'll be okay, darling." He reassures me. He holds me for a while, and I just stand there, thinking about all of the things that could go wrong.

If he doesn't survive this, all of the pain I've went through will be for nothing. All of the pain I've worked hard to avoid, will be thrown at me, because Gale was the one who did this to him.

Gale was the one who did this to me.

Willow won't be okay either. Losing her best friend would crush her, and I'm not sure she'd be willing to move forward without him. He's the only one who can brighten her day; the only one she trusts with her happiness. And for that to be gone? I can't see how'd she carry on.

I pull away from him and I wipe my tears off my face quickly. I take a deep breath before looking up at him, and watching his face change.

"I really want to see him," I begin to say as the door next to us flies open.

I watch as Willow runs out of the room crying, and I reach out to grab her arm. I softly wrap my hand around her to stop her, but she just shakes her arm free and keeps running the other direction.

I look back at Peeta, who's watching as she runs off, and then he looks back at me. He begins to walk towards the direction of Willow, and I watch as he soon disappears, leaving me alone.

I begin to walk towards the door, and I make sure all of my tears are wiped away before entering the room.

When I walk in, I see him sitting in the hospital bed, covered in wires and bandages. I pick up my speed as I move towards him, and I sit down on the edge.

"Flynn," I start softly. "I'm so sorry, darling."
"Katniss?" He asks, his eyes closed and his head laying back. I lean down and kiss his forehead, wiping away a stray tear along his cheek.

"Yes," I let out in shock. "How are you doing?" I ask, knowing fully that he's not doing well at all.

"I think you know the answer to that." He jokes around, but his soft laugh provokes an eruption of coughs from him.

I watch as he struggles to catch his breath after a few coughs, and I try my best to maintain my composure.

"You'll be okay." I reassure him, and I watch as another tear falls down his face.

"I don't want her to see me like this." He says, and I watch as he squints his eyes, almost as if he's trying not to let out in pain.

"She's not in here." I remark, remembering the way she ran out. "How much pain are you in?"

"The average amount of pain a person has when they're dying." He smiles through the pain, but I can see his body tensing up.

I reach up and lightly run my hands through his golden hair, and a few more tears fall—from both of us. My heart shatters as he begins to cough again, only this time making him shake because of the immense amount of pain.

"Flynn, what are you going to do?" I ask, in between tears. "I'll support whatever you decide to do, but I can't bare to see you in pain, darling."

"Either way I'm going to die," he pauses for a moment, and then opens his eyes to look at me. "Willow wants me to get the surgery."

"What do you want?" I question, and his eyes look away. "She'll be okay as long as she knows you did what was best for you."

"I'm in so much pain." He says closing his eyes. "I don't think I can handle surgery."
"I'm so sorry, darling—" I start, before I watch as his eyes rapidly shut, and his body fall blank.
"Flynn?" I ask, my heart picking up speed.

"Flynn." I call, and yet no response. I shake him slightly and I get nothing.

I call out for help, and I reach over and press the red button beside the bed repeatedly until 4 doctors come running into the room. I watch as they push me out of the way, and I stand there, bawling my eyes out.

A woman begins to push me out of the room, and as soon as I reach the hallway they close the door behind me. I slide down the wall, tucking my knees to my chest.

How could this happen? He was just okay a minute ago—he was breathing and talking and—he was okay.

The boy I've know almost his entire life is suddenly lying in that room unresponsive and I can't do anything. The sweet boy who always cared for my daughter, and never once left out my son, is now dying because of someone I knew.

If I wasn't here, none of this would've happened. I should be the one dying. Not him. He doesn't deserve this.

I stand up quickly, wiping away all my tears as I hear the door open, the same woman that spoke to us earlier pokes her head out, and begins to quickly speak to me.

"We need an answer, now." She says, tightening a scrub cap around her head. "Did he choose to let himself go or surgery?"

I pause.

Hesitation overwhelms me.

"He wanted the surgery," I say, looking at his lifeless body in the bed. "He wanted to try."