Fatal Fiona

Chapter 5: I Make a Stupid Decision

When I wake, night has fallen, and Artie and Coral are shuffling about, preparing to leave. She yells something about a reservation as I stretch luxuriously, elongating every muscle and arching my back in the most glorious manner. I slept far longer than I meant to but at least my hangover has finally vamoosed.

Mixing drinks in the kitchen, Artie catches sight of my movements and his lips part in a dopey, little smile, brown eyes crinkling at the sides. He's changed into a loose, printed shirt and slacks and I definitely don't notice how nice his arms look as he rattles a martini shaker over his head.

"Hey there, sleepy Bean," he fusses. Pouring two drinks, he sips the excess as he comes to pet me, running one of those freckled hands from the top of my head to the tip of my tail. "You needed that, huh?"

I sniff at his drink and my mouth waters because I'm a rampant alcoholic who's a sucker for a dry gin martini. Shaken, not stirred. Bond might have coined the phrase but that doesn't make it any less true.

I'm about to stick my tiny tongue into it when Coral emerges from the bedroom, pink hair artfully curled and a little black dress hugging her in all the right places. And suddenly, my mouth waters for a different reason.

"I swear to God, if that thing pees in my shoes while we're gone, I'm skinning it," she threatens, hooking a gold loop through her ear.

I'd love to see you try, sweetheart.

Artie laughs and hands her the other drink. "It's gonna be fine. I popped down to the bodega while you showered and made her a little cat potty. She's all set."

Indicating the litter filled, cardboard box that I most certainly will not be using, he scoops me off the couch to cradle me against his chest. He smells divine. Like wood and cardamom. "Plus, little Bean is a lady. And ladies don't piss on other people's things."

I reward this assessment with a purr. Although, I might make an exception for Coral.

After toasting, canoodling and chugging their drinks, a twinge of jealousy spikes through my chest when they finally leave for their fabulous dinner reservation. Until I remind myself that I'm a seven-hundred-year-old Familiar who can get into any restaurant she wants.

Once their smell has fully dissipated, I jump to the floor to stretch my limbs. And keep stretching until they begin to grow. Silky black fur disappears beneath my skin and my ears shrink from long and pointy to short and fleshy. My tail withdraws into my rear and my back legs lengthen as ebony hair spills from my head. Lastly, my claws and teeth retract until sitting in place of the beautiful cat is a beautiful, naked woman.

Nudity has never meant much to me. Purity and chastity are such strange, human morals. And there are such fun things to do in the nude. So, swinging my arms to get the blood flowing, I rise to explore the apartment, hoping to clear up at least some of the mystery surrounding my new "owner".

A quick glance at their mail reveals their full names: Arthur Fern and Coral Jong. A quick glance in their fridge reveals they eat well enough. And a quick glance at their liquor cabinet reveals they also love to drink.

Stealing an apple from the bowl on their counter, I wander down the short hallway into the bedroom. Smaller than the main room, the bed is big and comfy and pictures of their adventures dot the walls. Smiling in front of the Eiffel Tower, hiking in Sedona, eating in San Francisco.

That odd twinge of jealousy resurfaces as I pick up a picture of Artie kissing a laughing Coral on the cheek. It's probably staged but it's still full of love. Full of possibility. And taking a large bite of my apple, I drop it in the trash.

Opening the closet to judge their clothes, I ponder ways to go about this. Since before the Industrial Revolution, my Witches have arrived gift-wrapped on my doorstep, fully briefed and aware of the magical world since birth. And before that, humans were vastly more superstitious, magic in all its forms woven into their cultures. I simply had to transform and they usually got on board. Maybe throw in a dramatic speech and I was golden.