A Greasers , Soc Sister

EPISODE FOUR

— Y/N POV —

I wake up exhausted and not wanting to get up nor wanting to go to school until Johnny walks into my room "Y/n , Two-bit said to get up and get ready" he says closing the door behind him "Tell him I'm not going" I say closing eyes again "You can't do that , you've already missed one day" he says looking at me "So?" I ask "Whats wrong?" he asks "Nothing, I just don't want to go to school" I say he sighs and starts to look around the room then he opens the door "Two-bit! She's sick!" he yells out to Two-bit "How so?" Two-bit yells back "Fever! I think it's from yesterday" he yells again "Oh shit , I'll go get some soup or something from the store" he yells back and they finally stop yelling. After a while Two-bit knocks on the door and lets us know he's off to the store when the front door closes Johnny finally says "He's gone" "I know" I say forcing myself out of bed I walk over to my closet and open it searching for a bra while Johnny watches me. After I get my bra I take my shirt off "Woah!" Johnny says covering his eyes "What?" I ask pulling a new shirt on adjusting my bra "You could've warned me!" he says "Whatever hand me those jeans on my desk" I say and he does "Cover your eyes I guess" I say and he does while I put on my jeans "Done" I say putting my black worn out high tops on and throw a jacket on "I'll be back soon" I say walking out of my bedroom "Where are you going?" he asks following me  "Out" I say walking out of the house leaving Johnny alone.

I walk down the street for a few minutes and reach the cemetery. I start walking over to my favorite grave "John Eugene Matthews" I sigh and sit down by it "Hey dad..." I say while tears fight to come out "I haven't been here in awhile , sorry about that but it's happening again I'm starting to slice myself again and I didn't go to school again today" I sigh and start to have shaky hands and my voice "Uhm , I'm wearing jeans instead of my skirts" I say trying to laugh but tears just fall out "Mama seems fine but I know she's not Two-bit doesn't even want to think about you anymore. And me well I haven't been the same I guess. I've been getting complaints about my attitude" "Ever since you died I became a soc yknow that thing I told you about last? I know I said I'd never be one but I am one I thought I'd be happier but honestly I'm not happy , I haven't been happy in a while" "I miss you, I miss you a damn lot" "I'm sorry...I'm sorry" I say before I curl up again against the headstone and just start crying "Yknow how you said to come to you with any boy problems? Well I've actually got one. His names Johnny he's sweet and caring but we actually had a fight a few days ago he asked why I'd changed so much and that's when I went home and took the razor to my thigh" "And then there's actually another one" I say laughing "Dallas Winston...I know how you told me he's bad news and you'd get onto Twobitty for bringing me around him , but he's been flirty these past days and won't leave me alone. So I guess you were right I'd have to fight the boys off" I add with a small laugh "And Ponyboy he's the same Ponyboy you said I'd always be close with , I actually found your old picture book and found one of me and Pony at our house watching Mickey Mouse with Two-bit" I look around and then back the grave "I just don't know anymore , I'm not happy about anything like I just don't feel happy or complete. And I don't know what to do about it" I sigh "I wish you were still here , I'm still mad at you for dying" I say looking at the grave.

— END OF Y/N POV —

— JOHNNY POV —

"I'm still mad at you for dying" Y/n says while looking at her dads grave.

— FLASHBACK —

"Johnny , he's sweet and caring but we actually had a fight a few days back that's when I went home and took the razor to my thigh"

— END FLASHBACK —

"I made her do that?" I ask to myself quietly "You know how I was taking about Johnny?" I hear Y/n say still talking to her dad "He actually stayed over last night, his folks were fighting again. Why do they do that to him? He's the sweetest person I know. He don't deserve that" she says with a breaking voice. After she says that I feel hot tears on my cheeks I lean against the tree I've been hiding behind wiping my tears off while I still listen to Y/n  "I don't know if I like him...I mean he's cute and sweet but I don't think he likes be the same way.." "Everytime were at the diner I notice how he looks at the other girls and it kind of hurts...did you ever look at other women when you were with mama?" she asks her dad "Well what if I liked you the same way?" I ask her quietly.