You Are Mine: You Are My Everything

Chapter 21: Release

Colin leans back in the chair and runs his hand through his hair.

I push his laptop back before boasting myself up on the desk, gazing down at him as I place my feet on either side of his chair, so my legs are spread wide apart for him. "Let me help you."

"I'm not in the mood," Colin says turning his gaze up to me. "It's not you Emery, of course I want you, I always want you, I just can't turn my mind off right now. I am filled with so many emotions that I am worried if we..."

"That you will need something more?" I ask with a small frown. I was right, he wants to dive into his darker desires. He doesn't want to make love to me, no he wants to fuck me. He wants to tie me to the bed, maybe spank me. I hesitate a moment before I brush my hand down his cheek again, moving to his tie I undo it.

"Emery," Colin says as he begins to push away from me.

"Spank me," I say holding his gaze.

Colin blinks glancing up at me "what?"

"You need to release some of this tension and you have gone a long time without getting a release, the kind of release you depended on for a long time. I know you will occasionally need a fix, you can't just quit completely right from the beginning. Come on Colin, I'm telling you I want you to spank me."

"I can't, Emery..."

"Yes you can," I say. "Do you need me to give you a reason to want to?" I hold his gaze as I very slowly roll my eyes.

Colin gazes at me his gaze darkening a little "you know I hate that."

"I know," I say, "come on, spank me." I hold his tie out to him as I give him my hands, the way I used to every time he asked me for them.

Colin hesitates, I can see him chewing on the inside of his cheek as he gazes at his tie and my waiting wrists. "I will on one condition."

I look at him curiously.

"No safewords," he murmurs. "If you want me to stop you say stop, and I will. I am your fiancé, engaged couples don't need safewords."

I smile and nod "this won't hurt the baby will it?"

Colin turns to me "I've been spending years trying to have a baby, do you really think I will now do something to put her in danger?"

I smile and shake my head "no."

Colin gets to his feet "come." He says as he slides the ottoman at the end of the bed away from it a bit, placing a pillow in the middle. "Undress, everything above the waist off. I'll do the rest for you."

Before my eyes pieces of him begin to harden, his shoulders tighten, his jaw clenches, he stands straighter and his eyes turn dark and narrow. It's almost like his pupils have dilated with excitement. His nostrils are flaring. Deep in the pit of my stomach fear bubbles, remembering Dominant Corrette, the man who hurt me, who scared me, but this is not the same. All he has is a tie and his hand, he has no weapons, no floggers or nipple clamps. And if I want him to stop all I need to do is say so.

This is still Colin, the man I love, the man I am marrying, the father of my child. He doesn't want to hurt me. I get to my feet. I remember my first trip down to the Dungeon and begin to undress, slowly. The way Colin directed me to that night. I smile when his eyes darken the way they do when he is turned on. I slowly pull my shirt off above my head and toss it away. Then comes my bra, I unclasp it in the back and slowly pull it away from my body, inch by inch.

"Good girl," Colin murmurs when I am undressed from the waist up. He steps closer to me and cups his hand to my cheek, his fingers tracing my collarbone, they travel down to my breast and his thumb grazes my nipple.