Eliona's War 2: Veiled Healer

Chapter 80

Seth awakened to the unpleasant feeling of a full bladder. It declared that if he didn't get to a bathroom in the next three seconds, there was going to be trouble. So he rolled out of bed, fumbled to get the VR gear off his head, then stumbled to the bathroom more by feel than sight.

It wasn't until he was washing his hands afterwards that some of the grogginess began to lift. He distantly remembered hanging out with Mouna before his memory became foggy. But something felt off. Out of place.

He turned the water off and wiped his hands on his pajama pants. It was still dark, with the only source of light coming from a lit lamp by his bedside. It must have been really early in the night yet, since he didn't feel rested at all.

Seth rubbed at his eyes, feeling a dull ache behind them. There was something wrong. He had a bad feeling, like a terrible thing lurked just out of sight. A monster hidden in his shadow.

Tilting his head, he cast his thoughts back to Eliona, trying to remember what-

Muffled cries through a canvas sack.

Kamau's cold, quiet command: "Again."

He swayed unsteadily, hands grabbing onto the cold porcelain of the sink for support. It was like fireworks going off in his head: little flashes of horror burst like in a shower of sparks in his mind, each one setting off a new explosion of greater brilliance.

The sharp taste of blood on his tongue.

The numbness of his own ruined flesh rendered down to its components: burnt meat, shredded skin, melted fat.

"Again," Kamau said.

Seth leaned forward, desperately clutching the sink because it was the only thing holding him upright. It was hard to breathe, his chest tight to the point that there was no room for lungs to expand. His heart beat so quickly he thought he would pass out.

Fire, boom!, crackling electricity and the wash of bright, hot agony.

"This is Fester," Maun had said.

"Again."

"Stop it," he whispered.

She'd writhed and whimpered. And then she'd burst into a violet supernova, her passage from life to death beautiful. And final.
Bones snapping beneath his weight. A glimmer of white against raw pink.

"Stop!" He shouted, his voice snapping out through the dark, a whip crack that forced the horrors to recede. They went reluctantly, though only a small distance away. They were still there, lurking in the shadows with cruel patience.

But at least it gave him a little space to breathe. He dragged a shaking hand over his forehead, then rubbed at his eyes. Exhaustion pressed down upon him, more so than ever before.

"Ha." A miserable little laugh burst free, before it dissolved into empty chuckles. "I'm going to lose my mind."

I've seen enough soldiers self-destruct, Jack had told him. I don't want to see it again. You want to keep doing this, you're going to need a shield.

Self-destruct was a pretty apt term, Seth thought grimly. So many things floated through his head now, and it was getting hard to purposefully avoid thinking about them. Because if he did, he'd probably have a meltdown. It was too bad that Jack's shield couldn't hold back the nightmares.

Talk. It will help, Mouna had urged. He could see her serious expression now. It felt out of place in such a young face, like it belonged to an old survivor who'd seen her children into the world, and then saw them right back out again. She knew loss, she knew hardship, and he got the sense that she knew enough to know what she was talking about.