I Am Still Painting Flowers For You (An All Time Low Fanfiction)

Chapter 25

Zacks P.O.V.

It’s boxing day and the guys are coming over to celebrate Christmas. I told Val Alex was coming as well and she didn’t seem to react that bad. I punched Alex in the face during band practice once, and apologised soon after that. I can’t play while having a fight with someone, but he still hurt my sister and he had to pay for that.

The doorbell rings and I open the door. Rian, Cassadee, Jack and Tay are standing there. Every single one of them looking amazing. “Alex didn’t come with you?” I raise an eyebrow. “He’s being here a little later.” Tay says, hugging me. “Right.” I nod, letting all of them in. Jack falls down on the couch. “Nicely decorated.” Cass smirks, looking around. “Thanks.” I grin and I high five Rian because Cass sat down underneath the mistletoe. “Why are you-“ then she looks up and rolls her eyes. “Rian, you may always kiss me.” She grins.

Alex’ P.O.V.

I park my car in front of Zacks house and I grab the small box standing next to me. I sigh and step out of the car. Today will be the first day in two weeks I see Valerie again. She hasn’t spoken to me, texted me or let me know she’s still alive in any way, but I know she is because I asked Zack to look after her and tell me how she’s doing. I started writing her poems, but I never grew a pair to let her read them, so today I brought all of them, together with a letter, more half a book, to tell her how sorry I am, I hope she takes the time to read it before grabbing a lighter and having a camp fire in the middle of winter.

I take a deep breath and knock on the door. It takes a while until Zack opens the door. “Hey dude.” He smiles. “Zack?” A weak voice asks from upstairs, sending cold shivers down my spine, Val. “What is it sis?” Zack turns around and I look past him as Valerie slowly walks down the stairs, wearing a long, dark red dress, falling over her ankles. Her hair is curled up and her eyes are black lined, focused on the stairs. “Is everyone he-“ She stops in the middle of her sentence and she looks me right in the eyes. “Hi.” She whispers.

Val’s P.O.V.

Alex is standing in the doorway, I have to grab the banisters to prevent myself from tripping. “Hi.” I whisper, not sure if he can hear me. “You look stunning.” He gasps. I walk down the stairs and hug Zack, my eyes still meeting Alex’. When Zack releases me I walk over to Alex. He pulls me in a close hug, kissing my forehead. “Don’t fuck up my hair.” I smirk into his chest. I missed his embrace, his strong arms and most of all his voice, I listened all of the All Time Low songs the past week and I couldn’t handle anything anymore, I started cutting again.

“I got you something.” Alex whispers in my ear and I look up, his eyes are filled with tears. “Hand it later, I’ll go greet everyone first.” I open the door to the living room and my jaw hits the floor, it’s been a while since I got down the last time. The whole living is decorated, a huge Christmas tree almost hits the ceiling. “Hey Val.” Jack grins and he gets up. “Hey everyone.” I wave slightly and fake a smile.

I sit down on the couch, Alex looks at the empty spot next to me and I gesture him to sit down. He does, still a gap between us. “Presents!” Jack squeals, making everyone laugh. “I want to give mine first.” Alex says, huskily. “Everyone agrees.” Rian decides and Alex hands me a small wooden box. I open it to see that it’s filled with letters. “What is this?” I look up at him. “I wrote down all my thoughts the last few weeks and made them into poems. On top there’s a letter with how sorry I am, please read it.” He looks to the floor shyly.

I pull up my knees and lean against him, laying my head on his chest. “Next present!” Tay jumps up and grabs her gift for Jack. Jack rips open the paper and shouts “Home Alone!” He grins because he left his own on the tour bus which is all back in the storage again. “Thanks Jardine.” He hugs her.

The rest of the day we eat, laugh and watch some bad Christmas movies, Alex throws his arm around me and we just sit on the couch like that. I feel so very safe and I feel bad for cutting. Just before everyone goes home I get up and grab Alex’ hand. “Can I talk to you for a while?” He nods and follows me upstairs.

I fall down on my bed and he sits down next to me. I don’t say anything, I just take off the dress. “What’re you doing?” Alex gasps. “You’ll see soon enough.” And he does, as soon as the dress hits the floor he gasps again. His fingers trace the scars on my hip and he pulls me close. “Why Val?” I hear the tears in his voice. “I couldn’t handle it anymore Alex.” He lays me down and he traces the scars on my leg as well. “Who knows about this?” “Rian and Zack, they found me.”

Alex’ P.O.V.

I should’ve been there, no, I should’ve made sure she didn’t even start this. “I’m sorry.” “Stop saying that.” Val whispers. “Why?” She sits up again. “I looked through my mentions and found this girl, Celeste, she wanted my number to explain everything and she came over a few times, she told me everything. How you woke up the next morning, how she was the one causing all this trouble. She’s a nice girl and she really felt bad, so I forgive you.” “You do?” I can’t believe it, and I think I really have to thank Celeste, for her not making up some story how I forced her because some fans do that. Valerie nods. “I love you.” I whisper as I kiss her scars. “Hey guys!” Jack storms into the room. “Oh, am I interrupting something?” He grins. It is only till then he sees the actual scars. “God dammit Val!” He falls down on the bed as well. “You made her do this?” He glares at me. “No Jack.” Val whispers. “I made myself do this.” “Yeah but if he didn’t…” “… Then there would be another reason.” Val sounds so confident. “Really?” “Really Jack, it was only a matter of time since I started the cutting, this wasn’t even the main reason, there’s just so many things happening.”

Valerie gets up and grabs skinny jeans and a sweatshirt, the one I gave her. She throws it on. “Let’s go down.” Jack walks off the stairs but as I want to follow him Val grabs my arm. “Stay with me tonight.” Her eyes are big and I can only nod. She smiles and I hug her before walking down the stairs.

When we get down Val walks over to Zack and whispers something to him. Zack stares at me and gestures towards the kitchen. “Talk.” He commands and I follow him. I close the door behind me and Zack starts talking in a calm but clear voice. “You’ve seen what you did to my sister, I hope you’re as hurt seeing that as I was, I swear, do something like this again and I don’t know what I’ll do to you, but I wouldn’t try to find out if I were you.” I nod. “Listen Zack, I’ve felt like shit the past two weeks, I love your sister with all my heart, I haven’t had a drink ever since my birthday and I’m never going to drink that much again.” The kitchen door opens and Vals parents walk in. “What are you doing here?” Mr. Merrick snaps. “It’s OK dad.” Zack stares at me. “It won’t happen again and we’ll all make sure, right Alex?” I nod. “I believe you.” Carla Merrick pulls me in a hug. “I’ve never seen her this broken.” She whispers. “Neither have I, and I don’t want to see her like this.” “Great, else I’ll have to shoot you.” Zacks dad grins. A soft pounding on the door. Val comes in. “Hi.” She smiles at everyone. “Come here.” Zack pulls her in a hug and her parents join them. “Get over here Alex.” Zack grins and I walk over to them, throwing my arms around both Zack and Val. “Now get to bed you two, and never let her go.” Mark pushes us towards the door.

Val’s P.O.V.

I wake up and I grin immediately, I’m in the embrace of the person I love the most. These arms, I’ve missed them so much. I nuzzle closer into his chest and he kisses my neck. “Good morning.” “Hi Lex.” I whisper. “Plans for today?” I think for a while. “Read your poems, you?” “Watch you read my poems.” I turn around and he smirks. “You look beautiful.” “With the mascara almost on my cheeks you mean?” I forgot to remove my make-up last night so I probably look like a complete mess. “In my arms.” I laugh. “I agree.”

After a while I roll out of Alex’ embrace, kiss his pout and grab some easy clothes; sweats and a tank top. “Want some breakfast?” Alex hugs me from behind. “Yes please.” I grin and I lay my head on his shoulder backwards. I follow him downstairs and lay down on the couch, grab the box of letters and put it down next to the couch before grabbing the first piece of paper.

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The next chapter will be some of Alex' letters and poems, writing them might take a while, putting it up could take some longer because I'm having a talk about my grades at school today, my parents probably want to talk tonight as well and of course I have school. I'll put it up as soon as possible though.