relying on love -Tom Kaulitz

business.

...

I woke up on the sofa in Tom's house. I felt like I had slept for days, the house was dark I couldn't tell if anyone was awake, or what time it was. I sat up, the room spinning as I got up off the sofa and stumbled out of the room, the house was silent "hello?" I said quietly, but loud enough to hear me, I looked around, still feeling just as confused as I when I woke up.

I walked up the stairs, trying not to make it creek as I did. I looked around, walking over to Tom's room, I hesitated to knock on the door but I did, it instantly opened, I met Tom's gorgeous brown eyes with mine. "you're awake.." he said quietly,

Tom was dressed up real fancy. Like he was getting ready to go somewhere.. "yeah, why are you so dressed up?" I looked at his cloths, his white buttoned up shirt and black trousers, he didn't put an effort to tuck his shirt in but it was definitely something, it really showed of his figure. I took a peak into his room as I hadn't seen in when Bill showed me around,

it was tidy and light shown, a lot of colours most dark. A very original type style going on. Ton lent again the doorway to block my vision as I looked back up at him "I have a meeting" I smiled and wondered what for, "let me come" I tried to sound excited in hopes it would convince him but he simply replied with "no way." trying to shut the door on me. But I put my foot in the way, then my whole body as he slowly opened the door again

"wanna watch me get ready or something?" he said, obviously annoyed by my pushieness "could at least give me a tour" I said with a wink, he couldn't help but smile a little before moving out of my way, I made my way into his room, there was a small chair in the corner,

it was covered in cloths. But as I moved them it was a beautiful red colour. I sat and Tom walked over to me, leaning over me on the chair giving me a look that I couldn't read "what?" I said confused as to what he was thinking. All he did was lean down and kiss me, holding my face as he did "sooo, can I go with you!"

I smiled as he rolled his eyes and replied with a "fine." he had a bathroom attached to his room. He walked in there and closed the door. I looked around his room and sighed, I saw bill poking his head in, I looked over and waved at him "hey Bill!" I said with a smile "oh, hey" he was looking around the room probably for Tom.

"Tom's in there" I pointed to the bathroom door as bill walked in. Bills face was very serious as was his tone of voice. Everyone was acting so serious today, it bored me. "Sophies coming back today, I know you've met her" bill said looking at me with a smile "hopefully at least" he added,

I had honestly forgotten about Sophie.. I assumed he died or something. I guess I was getting used to people dieing as sad as it sounded, I felt happy to finally see Sophie again. But the guilt grew in my head. She was shot because of me.. At least she's ok. Bill knocked on the bathroom door just as Tom opened it.

They spoke in German but I couldn't be bothered to translate in my head, instead I just zoned out. Since I had killed kit I didn't feel much, well I did feel, the feelings felt dimmer than usual though. Like they were being filtered. But at the same time I felt I had bursts of loads of emotion, like everything was trying to get out before it just got trapped again. I was losing myself again, I needed my spark back. But I wasn't sure it would come back..

Tom nudged me as I came back to reality, he looked at me. I looked yo at him, he was good at controlling his emotions in front of people, he could become cold in an instant. I wondered how he did it.. Was he just used to needing to change it so fast or was in natural.. "you ok Jen?" he seemed genuinely conserned, I was too. I didn't know how I felt anymore but I just smiled and nodded, God I felt like a doll with no emotion, no personality. I felt empty.. , I got up and walked over to the door. Nothing in my mind.. I need to get help.