Flee from Freedom - (mattheo riddle)

31: Inside my Mind

I remember this is all too well. The hallways, the stone bricks of the dungeons, the underlying cold feeling which has become increasingly evident since i was last here weeks ago. Whatever flicker of life managed to remain down here during Snapes rule has completely extinguished. 

Me and Lucius walk in silence. He is a few paces ahead. There are two death eaters behind me, blocking me in from the back. They all know im not going to run anyway. 

We reach another door, which Lucius swings open quickly, entering. I hesitate outside, unsure what to do. Is this where i die? Probably not, i doubt the Dark Lord would want to leave that job for anyone else. I don't get long to think before a death eater pushes me forward by my shoulder. Practically through the threshold already, i walk further in. The door slams shut behind me. 

Everything happens so fast. My father grabs my shoulder, slamming me back into the door. My head smashes into the wood and i yelp out in pain. His hands hold me back, restraining me as i struggle and fight aimlessly. 

"Petrificus Totalus." He whispers and i feel my whole body tense up. I can't move and i can't make a sound. All i want to do is scream. 

"You were always a struggler weren't you?" Lucius lets me go, yet i stay upright against the door. "I remember, over the years, you never did anything quietly." He pulls up his sleeves violently, walking across the classroom to bring a chair into the open space. "Draco was always a follower, did what i said when i said it. Yes, most of the time he screwed it up, but at least he knew his place. You just always had something to say." The chair is dragged across the stone, making a horrendous creaking sound. Dropping it in the middle of the space, he begins to make his way back over to me. 

Gritting my teeth, i choke on the words i can't say. My father stops in front of me, pulling out his wand once again. As he's muttering a spell, i begin to float, still petrified. I float across the room slowly until i'm in front of the chair. "Finite Incantatem." He says. 

I feel my body relax and i sink backwards into the chair. A half shout catches in my throat and im seconds away from leaping back up in anger before i hear the word 'incarcerous" slip from his  tongue. 

Thick ropes fly from the end of his wand, hitting my ankles and climbing around. They snake over me, muffling my breaths and binding me to the chair. No matter how hard i fight them they only get tighter. 

"Like i said." He croaks. "Always a fighter."

"Maybe i wouldn't have fought so much if you didn't give me a reason." 

"I doubt it."

"Salazar knows where i got it from." I scoff. "Mother barely blinks when you're around and, well, you lap at Voldemorts feet like a fucking dog. Neither of you have an ounce of bravery in your fucking bodies."

Gritting his teeth to chokes back his words, anger bubbles away within him. The bags under his eyes are heavy and his hair needs a fucking good brush. He looks insane. 

"I'm just suprised Voldemort hasn't killed you already."

"Don't you speak his name." Lucius hisses at me. 

"After the stunt you pulled in the Department of Mysteries, i thought you were done for. Even after he diverted your punishments by pressuring me and Draco, i still thought he'd kill you. Draco spent all fucking year fixing that cabinet, i spent all year stalking fucking Gryffindors, and you were locked up in Azkaban. I thought he was going to kill us all."

"The Lord has reconsidered after.... recent acts of bravery and loyalty." He sighs. Composing himself slightly, he lifts up his hand to me. 

I know what he's going to do before he even does it.