Flee from Freedom - (mattheo riddle)

29: Then i hear nothing

25th May 1998

After being physically stuck in the same apartment for a week, i feel as though im going insane. No amount of cigarettes or alcohol is going to stop that feeling. 

However, it isn't nearly as bad as it would have been if i hadn't been kissing Mattheo on the daily. 

Everytime our lips touch i feel guilt build up inside me, thinking about the consequences, how much more hurt he will be when he finds out what is branded into my arm. 

On the other hand, everytime our lips touch i feel an overwhelming pleasure, and unfamiliar happy feeling. I can tell he feels it's too, smiling into the kiss like something is funny. 

"You seem out of it." Mattheo whispers into my ear. 

We are sat on the balcony again, this time i'm on the steps, Mattheo behind me. It feels slightly dangerous, no barrier in front of me, it's nicer to feel freer. His legs are open, me slotted in between them, both of us facing out into the city. He sits above me, cigarette in his hand. He regularly holds his hand down, placing it into my mouth, and holding it there while i drag in and breathe out. 

We haven't spoken in a while, this is tranquil, trust building up between us. I keep thinking how long before it all comes crashing down. 

"What?" I reply, not listening to the first bit.

"I said you look out of it." He repeats, flicking his burnt out cigarette but over the railing down to the street below.

"You are sat behind me."

"I can still tell you aren't focused." 

"Give me something to focus on then." I let my head fall back. I'm looking at him upside down, though it's not hard to distinguish the trademark smirk on his face. 

Leaning down, his hand snakes round under my chin, holding my head back as he kisses me upside down. If his hand was any lower he'd almost be choking me. 

For the moment i am totally lost in him, until the breeze picks up significantly and the world goes darker. I open my eyes and Mattheo loosens his grip of my jaw, letting my head fall back forward. The clouds have turned a deep shade of charcoal grey, and the wind becomes almost icy, slicing into the side of us, threatening to push us off the stairs. 

"What's-" Mattheo's words are drowned out by the wind, as trails of smoke appear in the distance. 3. No, 4. 5. I loose count of the trails as they hurl towards us. As they get closer i recognise what they are. 

Death eaters. 

"Fuck." Mattheo shouts, standing and pulling me up with him. "Go." 

I practically run down the stairs, and am met face to face with Enzo as he steps out onto the balcony. 

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Death eaters." I call out as i reach the bottom, striding towards him. 

He says nothing, just turns immediately back inside. Me and Mattheo follow, and he slams the door shut behind us. 

"What's going on?" Pansy and Theo appear at the top of the stairs.

"They've found us." Mattheo says from behind me. 

Everyone grapples in their pockets for their wands, and i realise that i don't even have mine on me. Fuck. I hid it away to stop me using it and accidentally exposing my secret to rest of the group. Both Theo and Enzo pick up on it, about to say something to me. 

"Amara get your wand out." Pansy shouts, finally pulling hers from her pocket. 

"Where's Draco?" I cut her off.