𝑰'𝑴 𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑶 𝒀𝑶𝑼 ✧ 𝑩𝑨𝑫 𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑺𝑬𝑺 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲┊stay

❝ I don't care how long it takes, as long as I'm with you; I've got a smile on my face. Save your tears, it'll be okay. All I know is you're here with me. ❞

I stared at 3 envelopes put in a little jar I have had since I was a kid. I never thought that there would be a 4th letter but here we are....

I sigh before keeping my back straight. I'm going to write it today. I'm going to do it! I'm going to do it... I felt tears swell in my eyes and I tried to stop the ache in my chest. I promised myself I wouldn't cry when I finally decide to write his letter. My letters were a means of finally letting go of people I love. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone, it just has to make sense to me.

My letters were unspoken thoughts that I wish I would have told them.

_______

Dear Killer,

Oh right... there was never an "us".

This is where I stand. I'm still here, hoping to be yours to own.

I didn't mean to find my place in your heart,

Where am I? Am I still there?

I have been dizzy and zoning out a lot.

Where am I in your heart? should I still hope?

I just wanted the truth; where the answer does not raise more questions.

I'm having a hard time sleeping, I could barely eat.

I don't remember the last time I laughed...

Oh right, why should you care? there was never an "us" and this is where I stand.

If you are not the reason, should I force my heart not to hurt and ache for you?

If it's not you then I'll stop forcing myself to hope for the two of us

I feel cold and unable to move,

My heart is having a hard time, it keeps persisting that it's you.

If we don't end up together in the end, I'll restrain myself from falling in love again.

If we don't end up together in the end, should I stop my heart from loving you?

If you're not the reason, shall I choose to avoid to not get hurt?

If it's not me, then who is it gonna be? the one who cries and hopes for the both of us?

Letting go because I am unable to move, am I stopping your heart that's calling for someone else?

I'm lost and looking from afar, I'm having a hard time stopping my heart that insists it's you.

If we're not together in the end, can I manage to love someone else?

If we're not together in the end, will my heart allow it...?

Do I force my heart to stop loving you, Killer?