𝑰'𝑴 𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑶 𝒀𝑶𝑼 ✧ 𝑩𝑨𝑫 𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑺𝑬𝑺 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧┊short hair

❝Feelin' so confused. You don't know what to do. Afraid he might not love you anymore. Must be another one. Must be another one he loves.❞

"I don't know what to do anymore..." I mutter sadly as I lay in my bed with no motivation. Selene gave me a look of pity before sighing.

"I get it... take your time, (name). Honestly, he's quite cruel huh?" Selene comments and I nodded with a cold expression.

"Was he just leading me on?" Tears start to swell in my eyes again. I don't know how many times I have cried over this situation already. Selene stayed quiet before patting my back in a comforting manner.

"I mean... yeah, it's so weird. I actually thought you guys were gonna get together... He's doing too much for a 'friend'" Selene gestures and I frown. It has been weeks since that situation happened. It has been tough but I have been able to tough myself up.

When class started again, everything was just normal like things never happened. I'm so impressed by myself, I didn't think I'd be able to act like everything was fine. Ganyu steals glances at me out of worry sometimes... Surprisingly, they haven't started dating yet. I felt so mean... to be stopping their happiness like this. I'm definitely gonna find some way to convince her that I have already moved on.

While everything is still happy when we are at school, I get absolutely depressed when I go home. I didn't imagine a day where I feel so drained going to school and pretending I was fine. It's so tiring pretending that I was clueless about their romance. Lately, I can't even see eye to eye with Dust.

I started tearing up again and Selene comforts me by hugging me and staying by my side. God knows how thankful I am to have Selene to help me at times like this. It's so sad... I used to love gazing at his eyes. I used to like how he looks at me like I was the most precious treasure he has ever acquired but now... I hate it. I hate looking at those beautiful eyes of his.

It reminds me of his sweet gaze toward my friend. I have also avoided his touch, I feel so terrible every time we hug. It used to feel comfortable like he was my rest when I was tired. Now, it feels uncomfortable knowing he wants to hug someone that wasn't me. I have also stopped replying much to his texts or bother listening to songs I used to love.

"It's so bad, Selene! I can't bear listening to my favorite songs anymore. It's so fucking bad when you dedicate a whole-ass playlist to someone." I cried out as I breathe in and out. I used to listen to romantic songs and be delusional over him, now all I listen to are some sad songs that relate to my situation.

This is a different kind of pain... Nightmare and Error were simply people I had chased over and I didn't have it in me to believe that I'll actually make them love me back, but him?! Him of all people?! I was an idiot for thinking that this guy was in love with me. What is worse is he fell in love with my best friend?! My best friend?!

"It's so painful to see my best friend getting all depressed over a boy." Selene sighs as she strokes my hair gently. I glance at her sadly before hugging her tightly.

"I don't wanna fall in love anymore... this shit is tiring." I complained and she laughs.
I lied, being in love with someone feels so nice but most of the time it has a bittersweet ending.

"You said that last time with Error but look at you now?" Selene teases and I glare at her.

"Besides, it's not the end of the world. Before I know it, you're gonna fall in love with some other guy again." Selene shrugs and I wanted to disagree but I just laugh slightly instead.

"I hate feeling this way... I just wanna fall in love with some other guy already so all of this pain would just disappear!" I exclaimed and Selene agrees with me.