Romanoff's girl

New life vol.20

*Rose's POV*

I wake up to the smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen. Mom must have woken up pretty early though because it is only 9.00. I slowly slip out of bed in an attempt to wake myself up a bit more. My head pounds like crazy and I feel like I got railed over by a bus probs due to the fact that I finally got a good night's sleep after this whirlwind of the past few days. Nevertheless I manage to get dressed and head to the kitchen
"Morning mama" I mumble, voice thick of sleep
"Morning love did you sleep well?"she asks shifting her focus from the pan briefly to meet my eyes "Woah you look like shit"she jokes grinning
"Thank you! Oh and to answer your question I did the new mattress is great"I roll my eyes, a little smirk forming at the corners of my face
"Here"she says handing me a plate with a steamy stack of pancakes.
"So what do you want to do today?" she asks, taking a sit across me at the table
"Well firstly I want to train and then maybe we could go try a shooting range I saw on our way here yesterday?"I asked before taking a big bite of my pancake.
"So you in the mood for killing huh! Them Romanoff genes are strong"mom laughs
"I mean I find it oddly soothing, it calms my nerves"I defend myself, mouth full of pancakes
"No judgment here, besides so do I" she replies, taking a bite of her own "gun range it is then"and with that we finish our breakfast quickly before heading to the living room to get a few hours of practice in
"Well it's no training center at the compound but it'll do"mom says after we finish shoving the furniture to the side in order to create a free space to use as the pit.
"Come on Romanoff, let's see what you 've learned while I was gone"she smirks and motions me to go over to which I oblige
"Try me" I reply mirroring her smirk and we begin an intense body-to-body combat which results in mom pinning me down leaving me no way out while squeezing her grip around my neck I tap-out and she immediately stops and helps me catch my breath.
"You've made loads of progress!"she notes raising an eyebrow while tugging a stray strand of hair behind my ear
"Yeah well apparently it is still not enough" I scoff, pissed with my defeat.
"Woah what's wrong?"mom asks noticing my tone, her pale eyes piercing mine looking for a reaction
"Well I'm not good enough. Both you and Yelena always beat me no matter how much I train"I sigh annoyance clear in my voice. To be honest I'm not really sure why I'm snapping at her like that right now but I just can't seem to help it.
"Rosie this is normal I mean both me and your aunt have been training hard every single day since before we can even remember. The Red-Room forced us to. Besides that was the goal, to become lethal assassins." mom explained trying to diffuse my anger
"Yeah well that's exactly what I want to become too. I wish I were in that Room. You and Lena are way too soft with me and now I'm useless" I blurt out before I get a chance to think about what I just said and storm out, heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. I know how much that must have hurt mama's feelings I mean she has told me how awful and traumatising the Red Room was for her and how it ruined her in ways she can never begin to comprehend. Fuck I shouldn't have said that.

*Nat's POV*

"Yeah well that's exactly what I want to become too. I wish I were in that Room. You and Yel are way too soft with me and now I'm useless" Rose anger blurts and my stomach drops. The mere thought of having my girl go through 1/10nth of the things I suffered from in that Room twists my insides. How could she say that? Why would she say that? What made her feel like that? How could she possibly think that she would want to go through that process when I've spent 15 whole years trying to protect her from it? There are so many people, dangerous people out there who want nothing more than to take her to the Room and train her to be a better weapon than even me. I mean how could they not? She is mine and freaking Winter Soldier's daughter,it is literally in her blood,she is a genetic jackpot... But regardless something has to be super wrong for her to be feeling that way. I have to help her get through it but I don't know how. I feel like I'm loosing her and as if there is nothing I can do but to watch her go. I'm not an emotional person if anything I tend to be cold as fuck so it is really difficult for me to understand what she is going through and help her with it. Have I lost her forever? I fucked up.
"Rosie please wait" I call out while following her all the way to the bathroom door,where I knock.
"Look baby I know that something is clearly wrong so why don't you please open the door and talk to me. I can help you,I'm here you are not alone anymore you know"I say and keep knocking on the door but to no avail. "Come on Rosie please let me in" I say in a final attempt to get her to open up. I know she is in pain and all I want to do is to comfort her, let her know she can talk to me about her feelings because deep down I do get her. I've been feeling like this for the most part of my life and that is exactly why I don't want her to have to go through that. Not when she doesn't have to. It's been over 10 minutes now and she won't let me in so I just lean on the door and sit in silence, waiting...