You Are Mine: You Are My Everything

Chapter 14: Doubt

I can't help but smile a little as I read each of the words his former teammates had written down. There was a time when he had tried to be normal, tried to fit in and make friends, and this football is proof he succeeded. I can imagine him walking around in a football jacket, guys tailing after him, girls swooning over him. Each of them oblivious to the pain and darkness that lay underneath the façade he put forward. Not like I blame him. I did the same thing. I hid the fact that I was a group-home kid as much as I could.

When I stepped through the doors of my high school, I became a different person. I made someone up. When you create a façade, it is almost too easy to uphold it, especially when the alternative is so bleak.

I read Abby's words again. A part of me flickers with jealousy. What had he been like back then? Had she been what he needed, or had she simply been a distraction? Could I have healed him back then, before he descended so far into BDSM and the darkness? Or would he have pushed me away back then?

"Joyce and I are going to go to her office for a bit," Colin says softly after a moment. "Unless you want me to stick around."

I shake my head looking up at him "no, I'm good."

Colin nods, he glances at Joyce before the two of them head out. I can tell she wants to talk to him about what happened this afternoon, and maybe what we talked about over dinner. I had not meant for the conversation to get so... dark and depressing but I was curious. He answered all my questions willingly and promptly. I couldn't believe that he spoke so openly with Gael within earshot. I guess he must know the story of his father and what had happened. I wonder if Joyce told him or if Gael just found out after so many years.

Gael and Colin hate each other? When did they start hating each other? How did that work when Colin was her Submissive? Why does he hate Gael? I know he said it was because Gael tried to become a parental figure to him, but is that it or is there more? What is with all the talk of him being more of a man than Gael? Is that honestly what Colin believes?

I step around the bed and pull a magazine off the shelf and blush when I flip through the naked women. So, if Abby and Hannah weren't his first... does that mean Joyce was? I don't know if I overly enjoy that idea. I'll have to ask him. What will I do when the answer is yes?

It doesn't matter. Who cares if she was his first? I am going to be the last girl he has ever had sex with. He loves me, he asked me to marry him, I am the one carrying his child. What he did with any girl that came before me doesn't matter, including Joyce.

I step over to the bedside table and pull it open, inside is an unopened box of condoms, which have long since expired and a few rolled-up phone cords. In the drawer underneath I pause, there are two framed photos in this one. I blink as I look at the first, she looks like Colin. So much so, except the colour and shape of his eyes. Everything else is the same, the colour of her hair, the shape of her face, her nose, her lips, everything. She even has the brow line that sits between his eyebrows. I stare at the photo in confusion before I realize who I am looking at. This is his mother.

Why is there a photo of his mother in here hidden away? I gaze at it curiously. Guess he got all of his looks from his mother except his eyes. The shape and colour must be a trait he shares with his father. I remember him telling me that. I put that photo back and look at the one underneath. It's a photo of Colin standing in a black suit, he looks to be rather young in this photo... fifteen? It has to be. The girl standing next to him is wearing a pastel green dress, it's truly beautiful. There is something about her that is familiar. She has blonde, slightly wavy hair and her eyes look to be green. She's rather pretty. Why does she seem so familiar? I know who she is. It's obvious. This is Hannah Wilson, the night of their prom.