"We'd better get going again" Dragon said, looking into the dark, clouded skies above. Starlight seeped through even the thickest of the clouds but still failed to illuminate their environment "ok then" Neb responded as he climbed Dragon's back once again, Arnkatla followed close behind. Upon taking to the skies, Arnkatla noticed a group of lightly armoured highlanders surmounting a jagged, snow covered cliff face, they carried vast luggage and spelunking equipment which likely meant they were miners. Arnkatla's drowsiness quickly faded as the stingily cool winds howled with great vigour and fury, this negated any possible attempts at obtaining further slumber "how much further?" Neb asked after what felt to him like another hour of flight.
"About an hour and a half farther" Dragon replied, Neb rolled his eyes, the cold was starting to get to him akin to the manner it had with Arnkatla when she first set foot in Scotland. Out of the corner of his eye, Dragon noticed yet another small company of highlanders traversing the mountainous landscape, an alchemist among them aimed what appeared to be a wand at him before firing a barrage of flints and lasers at them. The other highlanders sprung into action, peppering the skies with arrows and metal bolts from their crossbows forcing Dragon to yaw backwards in order to evade the strike. "Holy crow, be careful!" Neb exclaimed as he flailed for balance atop Dragon's back, he had pitched his nose downwards to execute a rapid landing approach. He sporadically spread snow in nearly every direction as he touched down "what'd they attack us for! We've done nothing!" Neb exclaimed.
"That doesn't matter, they tried to kill us and now we're gonna kill them, no questions asked" Dragon said.
"Radioactive Mind! Help us out!" Arnkatla yelled with a demanding tone, he emerged as was the norm following Arnkatla's instruction. He ran to Neb's side in hopes of protecting him from the incoming attack "you're the most defenceless of us all, duck in three seconds" Radioactive Mind said, pointing to the cliff face. As instructed, Neb ducked following three seconds narrowly evading an individual crossbow bolt, it ricocheted off an adjacent boulder before landing in the snow. "They have another Radioactive Mind, we should kill him first" Radioactive Mind said roughly two seconds before the remainder of the highlanders entered the valley within which the others stood. "Defensive inferno!" The enemy alchemist yelled before withdrawing a paragon of magic from her hiker's backpack and tossing it into the air. Hurriedly, Arnkatla cast a vortex beneath her own feet the exit of which led to the valley's summit, she peered into the landform below as the snow covered ground lit ablaze and their enemies slowly levitated into the air. "That was a smart move, we now have the high ground" Radioactive Mind said from behind Arnkatla who had jerked with surprise, she hadn't seen him follow her through the vortex.
"Thanks but how am I s'posed to tell the difference between you and their Radioactive Mind?" Arnkatla said inquisitively.
"Blink twice at me and I'll blink three times in response, it is subtle enough that our enemies won't immediately notice" Radioactive Mind proposed before Arnkatla manifested yet another pair of vortexes using her alchemist's knife. She had dropped a boulder on the greater half of the highlanders, batting them from the sky and crushing them to death as the flames subsided. "Paragon of magic, fire pillar" Arnkatla said, placing the chest of epicness into the snow, it slowly rose from its resting position before syphoning fibres of light from the stars whilst trilling lightly. Just then, it fired a singular concentrated pale orange laser beam aimed squarely at the enemy alchemist, she parried the strike by conjuring a tungsten plate afront herself. The laser was redirected towards the enemy Radioactive Mind only for him to effortlessly evade the strike through means of somersaulting backwards "alright, I'll play the game if you want" the alchemist exclaimed. She had cast a vortex which led just thirty metres from Arnkatla transporting herself, her Radioactive Mind and the two remaining highland warriors to the battlefront. "Why?" Arnkatla asked.
"We come from the forge of badassery, the badass of all badasses told us that we needed to bring him the head of an avian lizard to prove our badassery" the alchemist elaborated.
Arnkatla was taken by surprise at the improbable coincidence, their enemies had come from the same place she had set off to find, she wouldn't be able to call upon Screwface for another twenty hours following his recent demise. "Elec-Trick, kill them!" the alchemist exclaimed before yet another enemy emerged from her paragon in the form of Elec-Trick, identical to Arnkatla's sparing a few dents and chipped paint. Before the enemy could inflict further damage, Dragon arose from within the valley and unleashed a maelstrom of white hot flames onto the alchemist, Elec-Trick and highlanders. The alchemist was able to repel the flames through means of conjuring a limestone shield, the highlanders weren't so lucky, their thick fur coats caught ablaze and they were slowly singed to their deaths. Their tormented screams echoed throughout the mountainous landscape "sunsa bitches got what they deserved" Neb grumbled from behind Dragon as he landed softly atop the snow ridden cliff. "Madonna, we can't win this way, I've seen it" the enemy Radioactive Mind said to the alchemist who had just cast another vortex which she had used to instantaneously transport herself behind a nearby boulder. "Once more, fire pillar!" Arnkatla yelled, she knew of the potential risks that could arise following Madonna's escape "bot!" Madonna yelled, Arnkatla's chest of epicness lost its radiant glow and hadn't unleashed its usual attack. Before Arnkatla could take note of what had just transpired, the enemy Radioactive Mind swept Neb's legs, jammed his elbow into his throat and broke his spine over his own knee in one swift motion. "Ow! You sunuva bitch!" Neb yelled, staggering for balance only to land in the snow once again, using his wizardly abilities to melt it as he fell. In an attempt to thwart Neb's attacker, Dragon lunged forwards and clasped his jaw over Radioactive Mind's bulbous glass cranium. He jolted his neck backwards thereby hurtling him into the sky and sending him plummeting to the valley's surface.
He was finished.
"Screwface, keep them busy" Madonna said as she cast another vortex beneath herself, escaping to the highlands therein "what a bitch..." Neb sputtered, writhing in strife as Arnkatla utilised her alchemy to mend his wounds.
As if on cue, Screwface took hold of a chipped stone from the ground and stabbed himself exactly 19 times which caused him to multiply rapidly before his clones merged to form the giant. His feet sunk into the deep snow from his weight but not before he raised the very boulder which his ally had previously used as cover and hurled it towards Dragon's head. The boulder flew with astonishing speed before colliding with Dragon's jaw, sending it flying off his face followed by small clots of dark blood, arteries hanging freely from where his mandible had been moments earlier. He muttered something unintelligible on account of his recently lost tongue before wrapping his tail around Screwface's short neck, the menace struggled to no avail, clawing at Dragon's tail while simultaneously peeling off his layers of scales. The enraged reptile then vigorously clawed Screwface's head with all the might he could muster, strips of crimson red flesh and clumps of his brain were strewn into the snow, staining it with his gibs.
He was finished.
Arnkatla rushed to reattach Dragon's severed jaw using her alchemist's magic, it took nearly forty seconds to fully restore itself to its former state, chevron moustache and all. "Yo...that Madonna girl was hot" Neb whispered into Dragon's earhole to which he replied: "boy, she was a five outta ten at best" before erupting into roaring laughter "what the hell's so funny?" Arnkatla said with an inquisitive tone.
"Oh, I just remembered something funny, it's not important" Dragon responded with a chuckle.
YOU ARE READING
Arnkatla's Semi Heroic Quest(s)
AdventureThe tragic story of Arnkatla! She is cursed by a horrible spell and has to navigate a world filled to the brim with bloodthirsty monsters and corrupt magic users or die trying! But don't worry, she's got some serious backup: dragons (who talk)! That...
