Amery & Caddel

Chapter 7: It's Not My Ring

I can't believe the words I'm hearing. 

Maxwell actually fuckin agreed to marry me. 

I burst out laughing in front of my brother. 

"You're fucking joking, right, there is no way in hell he said yes." 

I continue to laugh, and Axel's face falls concerned.

"You heard what he called me, a "fuckin slum." The guy hates me; he would never marry someone who isn't in the same high class. 

My laughter dies out. Axel stares at me intensely.

"I know it's a lot to take in Mayella, but I'm serious. Maxwell agreed to marry you over Ari." 

That brings me back to reality.     

"Why would he do that?!?! This is so fucked. I'm 23! I shouldn't be getting married; how old is even Maxwell? I'm just starting my career and have an apartment and friends. I WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING A CAT!"

I stand up from the sofa and begin pacing around my living room. I throw my hands into my hair. 

I'm getting married. 

I hate this. 

I'm getting married. 

I hate this. 

My chest hurts. 

It is fuckin hurts, like needles in my chest. 

My heart... it's beating too fast. I can't relax; this is all too much; I can't breathe, I feel dizzy, I- 

Axel stands up, reaches for my shoulders and balances me. 

"Maya, breath, look at me and follow my chest."

Axel's eyes are filled with worry. 

"Maya, follow me, in then out." 

My chest, my heart, it all too fast. 

"Maya! Breath! In then out. Like me." 

I follow my brother's breathing. 

"That's it. In then out."

I close my eyes and follow my brother. The ache slowly fades.  

Axel gently guides me back to the sofa but doesn't let go of my shoulders. 

After five or so minutes, my chest finally feels okay again, and my heart is slowing down. 

I open my eyes, and Axel's face still looks worried. 

"Maya are you okay? What was that?" 

"I think so and...I'm not sure."

You know exactly what that was.  

"You said your chest and heart hurt; you look like you were about to faint; that's not good. Don't think I've forgotten about your heart condition. 

I don't usually get chest pain and feel dizzy like that, but I guess the stress of this situation caused my heart to overwork. 

Being born with a heart defect means I have to be extra careful, but the defect is very minor. Minor enough that I can live a perfectly normal life, but it can still be worrisome. 

"Yes, Axel, I'm fine; I think that was more anxiety and panic than my heart." 

Axel doesn't believe me, I can see it on his face. 

I don't think I entirely believe myself, either. 

I've never felt that way before. 

When I was born, doctors told my parents that I had a defect with one of my valves, causing a murmur, but it was extremely small, so they didn't operate to fix the valve. Doctors said that the murmur should go away once I aged, but it never did, so I have to live my life a little extra cautiously than the average 23-year-old. I get yearly check-ups with my doctor, and my next one is coming up in a month or so. I should probably bring this situation up with my doctor and ask about it, but it's probably nothing.