In the Stars ✅

Chapter 16- I surrender!

                      Sultan's Residence, Kano

                                                   Zayn.

     It's been seven days. Seven excruciating days since that night. It hasn't been easy for me. Not for a split second. I should have felt a tad bit happy when I got discharged but I was afraid I had grown numb over the days. Nothing made sense again. There was nothing left for me.
   I walked into my room, clad in a simple light blue thobe I wore from the hospital. Behind me, Emraan walked in with a tote bag that contained my medical supplies from the hospital.

   " Welcome home," he greeted, placing the bag on my bed that was neatly laid. Nothing about the room had changed. It was exactly like I had left it. Perks, it was cleaned.

   I only shot him a nod. That was me saying that I acknowledged his efforts instead of simply ignoring him. I couldn't even afford to smile at him. I didn't have the energy to. I was that drained.
   Thankfully, he didn't press on it. Instead, he exited my room, saying my mother would join me in a couple of minutes.
   I didn't let him reach any further before I banged the door close and clicked the locks in place. All the locks.

   " Zayn!" I heard him call my name, followed by a loud thud on the door.
  " Open up!"

    I ignored him, staring blankly at the door. Eventually, he gave up and the calls stopped.

    I walked to my bed and sat on it, still thinking about my predicament. I genuinely feared that I would get dismissed from the army. That was my greatest fear at the moment, and it was eating me up. It was eating me to bits. The fear had consumed me to the extent that, it ran in my veins. What if I get dismissed from the army? All my hard work would be in vain. After secondary school, I didn't seek a degree because I wanted to fully dedicate my time and resources to the army, only to lose it after a decade. A whole decade of my life was threatening to prove useless.
   No, this isn't fair.
   This cannot be happening to me. I've not heard anything from the headquarters yet, but Emraan's speculations have gotten the better of me. The was a high chance that I wouldn't succeed this time.
   I could hear my father's voice at the other end of my door, yelling for me to open the door. I didn't have the courage to face them at the moment. I felt so worthless. That they raised me only to be a failure. My mother's voice joined, but I still didn't budge. Then I heard my father threatening to break down the door. The thing was that he could.
   God bless Nana when she asked them all to leave me alone until I was ready to come out. I didn't know when they left and didn't bother to find out either.

    Ever so slowly, I leaned back until my back was flattened against the plush mattress of my bed. The ceiling piqued my interest as I stared at it blankly. I didn't know how the time passed me. I lay there unmoving throughout the prayers that were being called, not for once getting up to pray. Zuhr, Asr, Maghrib, and Isha.
    I felt my stomach growl. It was begging me to fill it up with food. I didn't have the appetite.
My eyes drifted to the tote bag that contained my medical supplies.
   After hours, my eyes had started to grow heavy and I wouldn't dare exchange it for food or any medications. I needed to sleep. I wanted to sleep. Sleep was the only activity that didn't involve me having to think or worry about my pathetic situation. Unfortunately, I was rarely blessed with it these days. Now that the opportunity had come, it would be best if I grabbed it. All I had to do was to adjust my sleeping position for slumber to overtake my senses. I hated the part of me that wished it was forever.
    I surrender!

    I woke up in the middle of the night with a headache that was threatening to split my head into two. I groaned hard, clutching my head as I got up to a sitting position. I checked the time on the digital clock that sat on my bedside table.