Dead love in my hands (Troy Otto story/ Fear the walking dead/ ftwd)

Why didn't I meet you earlier?

Our life has become like a groundhog day paradise. We occasionally left the house, gathered supplies and returned back. We often went hunting, tried to fish, and we even occasionally succeeded. We swam naked in the pond, cooked together and dismantled the basement, throwing out other people's trash. From the next outing, we used to bring something for the house: curtains, vases, beautiful pillows. It was getting cozier. Sometimes I even forgot that the world had collapsed. Only the dead, appearing from time to time on the site, reminded of this. In general, the two of us were perfect. Constant trips brightened up the extreme life and did not allow the routine to get into our fairy tale. But most of all in our joint leisure, of course, there was sex. We couldn't live without each other. I adored Troy, and he adored me. I have never been so happy as during the time that we spent in this house just the two of us.

Otto was so close to me that I couldn't imagine how I would have lived without him. I was afraid to imagine that something might happen to him. I've never met anyone better than Troy. I could forgive him for all his past, because when he looked at me, I forgot about everything. Only a slight wave of excitement pleasantly swept through the body.

It's been almost three weeks since Alan left. Troy seems to have come to his senses, but something has changed in him. I was surprised that he was still so acutely worried about saying goodbye. We hardly talked about him, because as soon as I mentioned Alain at least a little in the story, Otto suddenly immediately changed his face and became aggressive, so it was easier not to mention the boy at all. 

Our dolce vita could go on indefinitely if it weren't for one morning.

I woke up early, Troy was still asleep. The reason I woke up was in a fit of nausea. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. A couple of minutes later Otto was next to me. .

"What happened? Are you sick?" He asked in a sleepy voice.

"I don't feel well."

"Do you need any medications?"

"No. Bring some water."

I already had thoughts about why I felt bad, but I hoped that it would not be confirmed. I had a delay. No, no, no—my thoughts were filled with this word while I was rummaging through the bag of medicines that we were given at the ranch in search of a pill to terminate pregnancy. I found her. Madison collected the medicines. Thanks to her. I was lucky. I was about to swallow it when Troy appeared with a glass of water.

"Here," he handed me a glass of water, "are you feeling better?"

"Yeah," I lied.

In fact, it couldn't have been worse. At least, that's what I thought, but then Troy decided to make his assumptions.

"I think you're pregnant. You feel bad and you have a delay."

"Are you following my cycle?! Are you crazy? Can you come out?"

But he wasn't going to leave. He stood there and smiled. I took a glass of water and, after taking a sip, sighed.

"Troy, even if it is. Even if you're right, there won't be a baby. I don't want to give birth."

"Are you crazy? You don't have a choice anyway already," he also said it with a smile.

"Actually, there is," I took out a package with a pill.

"What is it?" he furrowed his brows.

"A pill for terminating pregnancy."

I shouldn't have said this, but my brain probably still wasn't thinking straight after sleeping. Troy snatched the pill out of my hands and threw it into the toilet and pressed the drain. After a couple of seconds, my chance for calm evaporated.