It's so excruciating to see you low
Just wanna lift you up and not let you go
This ultraviolet morning light below
Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh
It was a little surreal, waking up next to Travis. He was fond of grand gestures and she loved him for it. People had been under the false impression that her past partners would have her name written in the sky to get her attention, but they would've been grossly mistaken.
She had never really experienced being in a relationship with someone like him. He got her sense of humor (equal parts goofy, deprecating and sarcastic), he didn't take himself too seriously (pretension was a major turnoff for her) and he understood the important of making an effort. She liked to think she had some tricks up her sleeve in the grand gesture department, too; being a diehard romantic, it was on brand for her.
After all this time, he still managed to surprise her constantly and this happened to be the best one yet.
She'd been bracing herself for the loneliness to hit, was sure she would wake up to one of the dreary grey skies London was famous for that would somehow perfectly reflect her mood.
As much as having Travis there brought her peace, the fear hadn't fully dissipated. She loved the idea of making new memories, not to eradicate the past, but to erase some of the sadness. It was difficult to feel too blue when Trav was around...he had a way of bringing the sunshine, in spite of the surroundings.
But the reality of the situation was that in order to heal, she would be forced to confront the pain head on, something she hadn't fully done. Ignoring the level of hurt before had resulted in hurting Travis and she was anxious that old defensive mechanisms would try and rear their ugly heads. She didn't want to push him away, unintentionally or not.
His arm draped around her middle, he stirred when she lay a kiss against his temple, opening his eyes and focusing them on her.
She loved the shade they were when he woke up. Not quite green, but the color of springtime with flecks of brown and of gold. It still took her breath away, that first look.
"Morning," he mumbled, a lazy grin starting on one side until it reached both corners of his mouth. "You sleep okay?"
"Better than I have in days, honestly," she snuggled in close. "You?"
"Amazing. Even being woken up."
The smirk on his face made her laugh, even as she nudged him. "I couldn't help myself."
"Oh, I'm not complaining."
His thumb skidded over her hipbone and he kissed her.
"Mmm," she hummed against his lips, "we could just be completely irresponsible adults today and stay in bed. I don't have to be anywhere until late afternoon."
"Taylor."
"What?" She blinked innocently. "You know it sounds way more appealing than playing tourist."
"You're trying to distract me."
She leaned up to brush her mouth over his, "you got me. Is it working?"
"Plenty of time after your show, baby." He took her face in the cradle of his hands. "I want you be able to have some peace with this. Or start to. I also want you to know, if you've changed your mind or you're not ready, I get it. We can lay low instead."
His support was always gentle, never meant to make her feel pressured or panicked and she sighed deeply.
"Truthfully? I'm scared, Trav."
She felt him release a breath, felt the intense ride and fall of his chest as her palm rested on it.
"I know, honey. This isn't easy. But you know what? I'm really fucking proud of you."
