Little Bitch

Chapter 68

"But after that, would you want more?"

"What's with the interrogation?" he mumbled.

I kept my eyes on the road, and explained. "I went out with Lexi and her friends, and me and Daphnee talked, and I don't know. It seemed like you're both confused about whatever it is that's going on between you two, and I just wanted to help."

It had been bothering me for a while now. I know there was something there, but Josh didn't hope up. It was wild to me the way he overshared the most mundane things, but couldn't bother to open up about the ones that mattered.

I couldn't exactly judge though. I was quite similar.

"You don't have to fix everything now that you're better, you know?" Josh teased me.

"I know. And I know it's not a question of fixing. But you said so yourself. You're really good at burying your feelings. I wouldn't want you to do it with another person and miss your opportunity. You just told me that sometimes it's okay to be a little impulsive with the people you love," I remined him, getting on the highway.

"I don't love the Beatles lover. I loathe her," Josh said, fake gagging.

"But you could love her."

He scoffed. "I could also love a mafia boss with a dark past. It doesn't mean it's a good idea."

I gave him a sideway glance. "I feel like you're just trying to protect yourself from not getting hurt, so you're not even giving the relationship a chance."

"Not everyone sees a girl from across a room and suddenly knows she's the one they want for the rest of their lives. Some of us are not even sure what it is we want." Josh took a breath and then in a quiet voice added, "Some of us don't even know if we can truly love again."

"I'm sure you can love again," I said softly.

"It's hard to love someone with only half a heart."

I smiled sadly at my best friend. Still so very hurt, but acting like he wasn't. "Even if Daphnee is not the one, I think you need to give yourself the chance to try to love again. Just because you can't love someone the way you loved Jayden doesn't mean that you can't love at all. No one can be your first love again. But they can be your second love. They can be your last love."

Josh chuckle at my little speech. "Always the romantic, aren't you?"

"I just want you happy. I'm sure Jayden would want the same thing."

He full on laughed at that. "Your brother was like super jealous. He would absolutely disagree."

I frowned. "He wasn't jealous."

"Super selfish too."

"Now, that's a total lie."

"Awful kisser."

I shuddered in disgust. "Absolutely did not want to know this."

Josh wiggled his eyebrows. "Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to."

"I NEVER ASKED THAT QUESTION!"

Josh patted my shoulder, and closed his eyes, leaning against the window again. "Just be a good taxi driver, and keep quiet."

I gave him another sideway glance and sighed. "Fine."

I wasn't going to go anywhere with this today. But I definitely was not done.

_________________________

Happy Tuesday my little Pumpkins! :')

For those who didn't see my story on instagram, I wasn't able to post in the last couple of weeks because there's been a lot going on and I was absolutely not in a head space to write. My two months old niece was hospitalized and put on a ventilator, and it was a very stressful time for all of my family. She's all better now, but yeah. Wasn't really in the mood to write. 

And just in general, I think I was really exhausted and needed a lil break.

So, sorry for making you guys wait! But yeah, all better now. My birthday passed too, and my resolution is always to have a more constant uploading schedule, so I am working on that. December might still be a lil iffy, uploading wise, but that's because my goal in January is to upload Lil Bitch, Tenth Knot and Virgin and the Whore weekly! So, I'll be planning that and working on that in the next few weeks. 

Alright. Gotta go to work now. 

Love you guys! See you all next week! <3