Unsuspecting Hero (Batjokes)

Chapter 15

"Just saw Harvey and two of his henchmen getting into a car near Bleak Bridge. No sign of Batman" Edwards voice came through the cellphone, and Joker could hardly hold back a giggle. Oh, that poor idiot Two-Face was just too fucking predictable. He doubted this plan of his would drift off path too much. 

"Thanks, Eddy. Love ya!" He blew a kiss through the phone, before hanging up to call Dick. The phone rang only once, before his voice came through. "Two-Face on his way?" "Why of course the idiot is! You and Timmy ready?"

"As ready as we will ever be. This plan is very flimsy, Joker, are you sure this is going to work?"

"It has to" The clown quickly said, having no room to doubt himself right now. He bit his thumb between his teeth roughly, trying to wrack his brain for any wriggle room he could find in the plan. They didn't have long. It had to be quick and efficient, and he was relying far too heavily on his own knowledge of Harvey's mannerisms. "Now, they were seen getting into a car at Bleak bridge. You see any buildings that could possibly harbour Batsy, you search them. Be discreet, and remember that we are NOT breaking him out right now. We only need to wipe out a few henchmen, and not enough to make Harvey suspicious when he gets back there"

"...Okay, Joker. Nightwing, out" With that, the call ended, and Joker threw the phone on the table with a frustrated sigh. All he had to do was wait, for Harvey to eventually show up, or for the plan to fuck Joker over. Either way, his brain wracked for back up plans in case of the latter. He needed to be cautious. 

His phone rang once again, and he picked it up without checking the number. "Joker?" Barbara's voice filled his ear, and the clown hummed his acknowledgement. "Two-Face isn't making his way to your location"

Fuck

"Shit, where is he heading?" 

"He's heading back to where he took Batman from. Oh, wait, he's driving further down" Barbara spoke, her voice clearly showing that she was trying to figure out where Harvey was headed. But Joker's stomach fell with recognition, his eyes widening. "Eddy...He's going for Eddy"

"Riddler? Shit" Her voice mumbled, quickly typing something on her keyboard. He heard a small ring, and quickly realized she was opening up a duo-call. "Riddler? Joker says you need to get out of there, now"

"What? Who is this?" Edwards voice came through with a huff. "Nevermind that, Ed! Harvey is coming to you hot, you have to fucking GO!" Joker yelled, panic laced within his voice.

"Fuck, how long do you think I have until-" A bang cut Riddler's voice short, and Joker recognized the sound of gunshots with dread in his heart. Until the gunshots stopped, and silence filled its wake. "...Eddy?" Joker's voice was quiet, scared and torn and fearful. "Eddy!" His voice cracked, trembling with so much fear and panic. "You wanted a trade, J?" That voice of Joker's nightmares taunted.

Joker growled, low and predatory and so full of rage. "Oh Harv, my dear, Bats is one thing, but if I find a single scratch on Batsy or Eddy's skin, I will fucking end you"

Harvey chuckled at the threat, voice sickeningly sweet and reminding him of memories he wished he could forget. Reminding him of wounds still burned into his skin. "Quinn is next. The trade is simple, J. All of you're friends for you, my broken clown. But the Bat? The Bat stays with me. Unless..."

"Unless what?" Joker spat, body shaking with blood-curdling anger. "I will trade you for your friends. But for the Bat, I will trade his freedom for...his identity"

Joker scoffed, rolling his eyes at that. "I get it now, this whole plan, of yours"

"Oh?" Harvey's voice was mocking, intrigue underlaid in his tone. "And what is it that you think you have figured out?"

"The reason you gave me up so easily. Why you let Harley break me out. You wanted Batsy to find me. You wanted Batsy to try and find you. You wanted to unmask Batsy to the world. Well, you big fucking idiot, don't you feel utterly stupid . How hard could it be to take off a cowl?" Joker's voice was taunting, laughter filling the connection that made Harvey's voice growl.

"All I want is the vigilante finished!"

"And all I want is you buried ten feet underground, Harvs. I wonder who will get what they want?" Joker grumbled. "Give me his identity, and I will free him"

"Over my dead fucking body!"

With that, Joker hung up the call, throwing the phone at a wall with a scream. This was his fucking fault! Batsy, Eddy...they wouldn't be there if it wasn't for him. Maybe he should have just let Two-Face kill him, it would have been better than this. 

His eyes widened in realization. Nightwing, Robin! He ran to pick his phone back up, ringing Dick with apprehension in his heart. "Please pick up, please..." Joker begged to himself, listening to the dial tone desperately. Until, it went to voicemail. So he tried again. And again, and again and again. No answer, every time. He fell to the floor in a fit of sobs.

He really fucked things up, didn't he? He couldn't do this. He couldn't. He just cried, chest heaving up and down with the need to breathe, but he didn't care right now. He had lost everyone, and he wasn't sure if he could get them back.

~~~

Joker stared at the floor, eyes puffy from crying and body still from how numb he felt. He hadn't moved in hours, joints stiff and face aching from the previous sobbing. He felt hypoxic, brain foggy.  Harvey did break him, didn't he? Well and truly broke him to a shell of a man he couldn't even live up to.

"Master Jack?" An apprehensive voice came from the door, but Joker didn't look up. Didn't even blink to show he had acknowledged the new people in the room.

Alfred and Barbara entered the room slowly, watching with worry at the empty shell that was Joker. Jack. Whoever he was right now, or forever. Joker wasn't sure he could be anyone right now, while being everyone all the same. 

"We can fix this, Jack" Barbara spoke, wheeling closer to sit in front of Joker.

"No...I can't" Joker spoke, voice raspy and quiet, not looking up at either of them in shame. In disappointment. In fear. He didn't know. All he knew was that surely they must be angry at him, for being the cause of this. 

"Jack..." Alfred kneeled in front of him, taking one of Joker's hands into his own. Joker didn't have to energy to reciprocate the hold, hand floppy in the stern one that held it. "You can do this. I know you can. Bruce, Edward, Dick, Tim, Harleen... they need you. And you need them"

With that, Joker slowly turned his head up to look at Alfred. "I failed them. They only wound up with him because of me"

"Yes, maybe. Maybe not. But you have to be the one to save them"

"Why? Why me?" Joker mumbled, brows furrowing. "Why did this all happen to me?"

"Because" This time, Alfred's face held a smile, his voice the most certain than Joker had ever heard it before. "This is your redemption arch"