The Deep End ✔️

11 - passing seasons

update número dos
cuz it's just a filler #yolo

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The season droned on without much event to it. It was still cold as fuck every time I walked outside, the decorations turned from pumpkins and plaid to Christmas lights and inflatables.

Mom came to town with Aunt Rachel to decorate the tree in my apartment, as per our tradition. I was hanging tinsel around my doorway while Mom stirred her famous, and my personal favorite, pre-Christmas hash dinner. Rachel was organizing the ornaments by shape and sentiment. Jingle Bell Rock was playing softly on the TV. This was everything I loved about the holiday season.

"I have some experiments planned for dinner this year," Mom said from the stove. "I really want to try those apple crisp crumbles you sent me, Rachel." Her sister agreed with a hum.

We made idle conversation while my apartment increasingly grew more and more festive with every nutcracker and wall hanging we put up. Nelly watched us with mischievous eyes, knowing damn well she planned on tearing everything down the second we turned our backs.

"Do you and your friends still plan on doing that, uh, gift exchange?" Rachel asked, untangling some lights from the bin. "White elephant or whatever."

I snorted. "Apparently, Carlos ruined white elephant for everybody when he asked everyone what they got ahead of time and purposefully got the best gift last year," I said. "So we're just drawing names and giving gifts this time."

Mom turned to face me from the stove. "Have you thought about what you're going to do if you see Dallas?" she asked.

"Of course I've thought about it," I said, biting on the inside of my cheek anxiously. "Doesn't mean I figured it out."

"Are you even over it?" Rachel asked.

"No," I said and laughed humorlessly. I walked over to help her with the tangled knots that were my stowed lights.

Mom put the lid on her pan to simmer and walked over to help. "Maybe he won't even show up," she said, trying to ignite an ounce of hope in me. "I wouldn't after the mess he made at Thanksgiving, but that's just me."

I made a face. "I wish except he told Phoebe he would be there. Maybe I shouldn't go and just give Ebony her present another time."

Rachel plugged one string of lights and we sat quietly thinking about that while looking at the beautiful multicolored bulbs. It wasn't that I was too cowardly to face Dallas—well, not entirely. I was a little afraid to see him.

I just didn't want to make matters worse. We hadn't spoken since the phone call where he allegedly claimed he was done with me. But I knew the chemistry we had and . . . I didn't want to start a whole thing again. As far as I knew from word of mouth, Dallas was still very much dating Shelby and they were planning on moving in together, according to Erick.

In the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn't convinced him to stay with her.

Those kinds of thoughts got me in trouble. I would be face to face with the both of them in less than two weeks. Any improper feelings I held towards Dallas had to be put on the back burner. Forever. It was the right thing to do, whether I liked it or not.

"Maybe we should get you a really hot outfit to show him what he's missing," Rachel said.

I always liked Rachel. She was a lot younger than my mom because, in some weird twist of fate, my grandma was pregnant two years before I was born. So we were a lot closer in age, though didn't have much in common. Our similar ground was my mom, of course, and the two of them were very close.