Luna's fight with Anorexia Nervosa (true story)

8

May 2010, 13 years old
POV Robert

'Luna!' I'm impatiently standing at the bottom of the stairs. We need to be on the road in an hour. My mother will be buried with my father, it's a long ride and I want to be there in time. It stays quiet upstairs. I walk up the stairs. Luna sits frozen on her bed.

The new clothes Maria bought for her especially for the funeral are laying on the floor. 'Why aren't you dressed?' I'm trying to keep calm. She already looks so hopeless. 'I have nothing to wear. Mom doesn't understand what I think is beautiful.'

I open her closet and put 3 outfits on luna's bed. All in shades of grey. Luna's favorite color and good for a funeral. 'Grandma would have loved all of this. You choose.' She doubtfully stares at the clothes. 'That skirt is old, and that blouse doesn't fit well. I never wear it.'

I sigh. 'I'm going downstairs. In 15 minutes you'll be dressed downstairs. If you don't then I'll choose for you what to wear.' 15 minutes later I'm back in her room. She's still sitting quietly on her bed. Silently I grab the grey dress that I think is the most beautiful. 'You're going to put this on now. After that you come eat a bowl of yoghurt. Luna, come on, I'm not in the mood for this. I also want to reread my speech one last time.'

How much sensibility can you expect from a 13 year old girl? A teenager who also has a difficult disease, a disorder that seems to swallow her completely. I try to remember that I got to be patient, show understanding. I know how unhappy she feels wearing clothes she is not comfortable in. Today I do not have that patience.

It's already dark outside when we're driving home. I have done everything with my walls up and a friendly attitude. I didn't want to see how Luna was deeply unhappy seated in the front row, how Naomi was nauseous and pale leaning on Maria from the flu. This day was for my mother.

In the rearview mirror I see Luna's angry face. She's still mad about the outfit she had to wear. Our usually sweet and cheerful daughter has turned into a gloomy girl who throws huge tantrums when we insist on eating. She disagrees with the eating list she was prescribed. Way too much in her eyes.

'If I eat all that, I'll get really fat.' I can see the panic in her eyes when we put down the prescribed amount of food in front of her. It's horrible to see how long it takes her to eat her food bite by bite. I don't want to get angry, so I often walk away. Also Maria and the girls don't have the patience to wait for Luna to finish her plate. So she sometimes struggles alone at the table. She undoubtedly hides a part of her food in the vase with flowers or gives it to our dog.

Of course treatment is needed. In day care, they work with her on her confidence, and there are conversations, yoga, music therapy, and creative therapy. But Luna also tells about the hours that they do nothing, then they watch tv, some girls walk through the room all day long to burn calories.

She undoubtedly tells only half of what she is going through. I'm worried. What also does she learn there from the girls? There are patients there who have had an eating disorder for a long time. Why is there no better place for a 13 year old girl?

I really hope that she clicks with some of the girls because there are girls who really come out of the treatment better. Fortunately, between luna's complaining, I also hear some positive things about her group from time to time.