22 | fake it real

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"Jab manzil ek ho, toh raahein jaise bhi chune, musafiron ko toh mil hi jaana hai"

"Jab manzil ek ho, toh raahein jaise bhi chune, musafiron ko toh mil hi jaana hai"

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~ Kabir ~

Mumbai, India

When I returned home, the silence welcomed me like an old friend. I finally breathed in that silence, letting the tiredness wash me down. When I looked around the empty house, only the silence echoed. Whenever I went to our dinner gatherings, I had no one to return to.

There was a time when the world used to kiss up against my skin and laugh along, holding me but no longer. It was as if the world had shrunken away to leave a cold void around my skin as if I had become detached from reality itself.

I always pondered over staying away from the family. And whenever I thought about it, I always had mixed feelings. I was never sure how I felt. On some days I felt extremely gloomy and there were some days where I felt that staying alone had been my decision so far.

The world felt cold. It was never warm in the first place. In twenty eight years of my life, I had incurred enough pain and sadness to last for a lifetime.

I walk into my room and move into the closet, to grab a comfortable piece of clothing for the night.

I unwrapped the watch from my wrist and was about to keep it in my watch drawer when I saw a ring lying between two of my watches.

It was her engagement ring.

Taking the delicate little jewellery in my palms, I let its cool settle on my fingers. It was a simple platinum band with a large sapphire stone shining in the middle.

Radhika was obsessed with this combination. Even when we were teenagers, she often mentioned her dreams about marriage, what her wedding outfit would be and what her engagement ring would look like.

She had planned everything from a dreamy proposal to a dreamy wedding.

And the fact that in her long list of dreams, she could only fulfil one and all of it was left incomplete.

She couldn't die in peace.

I looked at the engagement ring. It looked as if it was yesterday I had bought it. The ring took me back to the day when I proposed to her at this very house, where I had believed that finally, I had everything.

"You gave me everything that I ever wished for in my life," I breathed as tears gathered in my eyes. "You are the first and the last girl I'll ever love. Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" She said without a beat. She crouched down in front of me and hugged me as if her life depended on it. I hugged her back.

After a few moments of crying in happiness, she broke the hug but was still in my arms.

"You're the melody in the song of my life, Kabir," she said, caressing my face with love. "Without you, there's no rhythm."

"And without you, there's no music," I said, leaning in for a kiss.

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