Her Alien Protector: A Sci-fi Romance

Part 47

I stare at the ground. "Good. So far, I have..." Groomed his wings. Ugh, I can't tell Kayla this, it makes me sound like I'm five. "Not much, but I, umm... I want to do more with him."

"Wait. Are you saying you two still haven't had se—"

This time I slap my hand over Kayla's mouth. "Don't," I whisper, horrified that we might be overheard.

"What? No one will understand us since we are talking about playing drums—"

I must have a confused look on my face because she continues with the strange examples.

"—you know, playing bongo drums and crashing cymbals together," she says, laughing.

Maybe it is that I don't understand or am so embarrassed at being in the predicament, unable to get what I want from Rigel, and wondering if even now Kayla is making fun of me that my cheeks feel hot. I brace myself for Kayla's taunts and look away.

"Hey, I didn't mean anything by it," says Kayla, giving me a quick hug. "I asked if you had been physical because of the way you act around each other and if it is something you want, well... I just want you to be happy. What about this? You don't need to tell me anything but consider answering these questions for yourself. What do you want? Do you think Rigel wants the same things? If there is something you both want, and it isn't happening, what might be holding you back?"

"I want to talk with someone else about it. Having your perspective might help. You see, with Rigel, I want to..." I shake my hands around and she nods her head as if she understands what that means. "And I think Rigel also wants to, um..." More hand waving. Why can't I use the actual words with Kayla? No wonder Rigel and I have communication problems. Then again, I can't share everything with Kayla, like the big obstacle Rigel and I have—the fact that Rigel's youth was devoid of women—to do that would compromise Rigel's confidentiality.

So, I just bite my lip and stare at Kayla.

"Just so we are on the same page, this..." Kayla shakes her hands. "It means you want to have sex with him, right?"

I nod and my face still feels hot. At this rate, I am doomed to have a permanent blush on my cheeks.

"I think I might be able to help, I have a few ideas."

"You do?"

"Come on," says Kayla, and she pulls me along with her onto the Firefly.

We walk into the helm and past the talking wall, down the hallway, and into Kayla and Tarak's room.

"These are the toys," Kayla says, opening a storage place near their bed.

There are handcuffs, ropes, and an object with straps and what looks like a green ball. Yep, I will have this blush for the rest of my life.

"Wait, I've seen pictures of this device with the ball, is that a ball gag," I say, unable to keep my voice from squeaking.

She nods. "Are you familiar with how someone can use it?"

"Once I used the computer immediately after my flight instructor and—ugh—there were pictures of naked women crawling and wearing nothing but ball gags just like this one in their mouths." I shudder. Even the memory of that time makes me want to wash my body in bleach. "Why are you showing me this?"

"Let go of those other associations you have with these things. Everyone has kinks, and what that person probably did was fantasize, which is not related to what these are, which are tools you can use to play games."

"Games?!"

"Try to be open-minded, because these games can help you get out of your head, which is probably what you and Rigel need."

"Kayla, how do you know any of this?"

"Why do you think these are in my room? It's because Tarak and I use these to play games... I'm going to tell you about some of the games Tarak and I play, but remember, you will not be limited by what we did. There are an infinite number of ways you can use these. Just think about it, okay?"

As Kayla suggests, I listen to her stories and try to see this from a different point of view. Perhaps games could help Rigel and me, especially since our current path isn't quite working.

"So, what do you think, Ava," says Kayla when she finishes telling me the various ways she and Tarak used the toys. "You can borrow one, or some, or all the toys. Or you don't have to take any of them. There are no wrong answers and it's entirely your decision."

I look at everything. Maybe? "I will take them for now and think about it more, although... Do you think you can help me modify the ball gag?"

She tilts her head. "Modify?"

Even though we are in a room with a closed door, I can't help the embarrassment that flushes through me. I whisper into Kayla's ear.

She smiles and there is a glint in her eye. "Oh, we can do that. Give me a moment, okay," she says, taking out the ball gag.

I return to my room, carrying an armful of toys. Everything seems achievable now. My groin tingles in anticipation. Time to put my plan into action.