The Ghost of You

Chapter 7 - Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

She kissed me. Fine, she kissed me on the cheek. I'm going to count that as a kiss. I finally get to feel her soft, warm lips on my skin. I wanted more, I'm addicted to it. More of those lips. I want them on my own lips. Yes, I'm that greedy. Greedy for her touch.

I want.. I want her. I want her for myself. God.. I'm so down bad for her. I need to ask her out. There's an upcoming dance party next month before our mid semester break. I'll start my move by asking her to the dance. I'm pretty sure she'll agree to be my date. Then I'll ask her out that night. Yes Sarocha, plan your moves. You got this. I know you're scared but hey, if everything goes well, she's.. She's yours.

I want to be hers and her to be mine. My flirting game might be a little rusty because it's been sooo damn long. But you know what? It doesn't matter because if she likes me, she'll accept any version of myself.

Rebecca.. It's because of you that I started to plan my future with you. I'm an idiot in love with an angel. We'll move in together, sleep in the same bed.. Then I wake up in the morning with you by my side hearing your soft purrs like a little cat still sleeping. I'll make breakfast for you, we shared lots of kisses and laugh.. We'll have a dog. You want Bonbon right? We'll adopt a French Bulldog and name him Bonbon. Fuck. I want all that to happen. If I have one wish, I'll use it on you. For us to be together forever. For you to be mine.

But there's one thing that I'm afraid. What if she didn't feel the same with me?? Just thinking about it I can hear my heart shattered into dust. Is there any chance for me to be with her? What if.. I ruined everything that we have? I'm putting all of my cards on the table. I just hope that it's worth everything.

- Ends of diary entry -

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Freen was sitting at the bleachers fidgeting her fingers and biting her nail. In other words, she was nervous. She can't even focused on the figure on the soccer field who's on weekly practice with the team.

*Preeeettttt*

The whistle blows as it was the end of practice. Becky jogs to the bleachers where Freen was sitting. She wiped her sweat with the towel and held her hand out asking Freen to pass her water bottle.

"Freen, pass me the water please."

Becky said while still catching up her breath. Seeing Freen didn't respond to her, she called the older girl.

"Freen?? Are you alright? Is something wrong?"

"Wh-what? Here, your water."

She finally response.

Becky sit close next to Freen, their thigh touched each others.

"Uhmm Bec.."

"Yeah?"

"You know.. Every year this college has a dance party somewhere in the middle of the year."

"Oh yeah! I've heard about that before. What's with it?"

"So.. Uhm.. This year, the party will be held next month. Before our mid semester break."

"Oh, they already have the date? But I don't plan to go."

Becky replied while loosening her shoe laces.

"Oh.. So you're not going??"

Freen sounded extremely disappointed.

"I don't think so. Why? Are you going?"

"Not anymore.."

Freen answered but almost like a whisper to herself.