FAT and in Love

Chapter 102: Macaroni

As I come to a halt at a red light, I snap out of my thoughts.

For a brief moment, I glance over at my phone, a smirk on my face. Despite feeling absolutely terrible right now, I despise how it still manages to bring me joy to hear from her.

Last Tuesday, when she called me, I wanted with everything inside me to tell her I missed her and I wanted to see her, but I was also angry at her for fucking ghosting me.

A confusing whirl of sensations bombarded me, and on one hand, I wanted to rejoice at hearing her voice, but on the other hand, that devilish conscience was telling me she was playing me.

I'm not someone who gets played.

Maybe I was letting my guard down a little bit too far with her.

I had experienced a strong desire to just block her... but I could never bring myself to. I remember last week when I was in my studio all day, I only came out to get a bottle of alcohol because I was just so tired of thinking about everything. I needed to relax.

I remember staring at the phone at the profile picture I had set for Lacie. Thoughts of her beautiful smile and her hugging up against me assaulted my mind.

"Fuck you Lacie. I didn't want to be friends with anyone anyway," I had said, swaying from the effects of the alcohol even as I was sitting and holding my finger over the 'block' button.

I just couldn't do it, no matter how drunk I got. I vaguely remember tossing my phone across the room and sinking into depression, not completely understanding why.

"... she moved on...."

"..... need space......"

I couldn't blame her. Maybe that was her way of trying to break away from me being a monster. Maybe, in her mind, she didn't want to hurt my feelings, so she felt she had to lie.

But then she called me days after we hadn't seen each other and told me how sorry she was and that she wanted to see me. I'm so confused. The old part of me doesn't trust her or anyone else.

But this confusing part of me misses her like crazy, and I want to trust her despite the very real possibility that she could be messing with me.

I look at my phone and read her text.

Lacie: i know ur not talkijiuohng to me but ddi u send someone to my house???

The light turns green, and I put down my phone. I pull over into an empty parking spot. I didn't really get a good look at the text, but something makes me feel uneasy.

I reach for the phone once more and read the text, and my heart starts to feel as if it's on the verge of escaping my body. My breathing becomes erratic, with shallow breaths, and my adrenaline surges.

For some reason, the way she texted makes me feel unnerved. I start texting, but then I think better of it and call her.

I hear her pick up the phone, but she's not talking.

"Lacie???" I say, noticing the anxiety in my voice.

I hear a slamming on her end. I hear her scream, and I hear a male voice. WHO THE FUCK!!?

I see red and hit the throttle on my Bugatti, taking off like a rocket.

I'm going so fast and driving so recklessly that I actually expect cops to stop me. I want them to tail me so they can follow me to her house.

I told her that place wasn't safe.

I fucking TOLD HER!!

I don't know why, but it sounds like she was in her house, and I assume she is based on the text.