FAT and in Love

Chapter 71: Neon Light

"You know I wanted so badly to text you and to see how you were doing... but I just got the feeling you didn't want to talk to me ever again," I say quietly, looking out through the windshield and the neon billboard across from us in the air.

Dominic is quiet.

"I wanted to talk to you too," he murmurs softly.

"HUUUUH?" I yell like Scooby-Doo.

I embarrassingly thought that I had said that in my head.

"You did?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"So why didn't you?"

"I didn't think it was appropriate because... well, you didn't work for me anymore," he states in his characteristic flat and deep tone.

"Dude!!!! Oh my God! I would not have minded!"

"Well, why didn't you text me?" he inquires, attempting to shift the responsibility back to me.

"BECAUSE!! You're so hard to read sometimes, and I felt like you were going to block me or something."

"I'm sorry if I gave you that impression," he responds.

"And can we talk about the last night that I was at your house?"

I know that me blurting that out in the middle of this part of the conversation seems like whiplash, but I really want to get everything out in the open.

He tenses when I say this.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, and trust me, I'm nervous about talking about it too, but it's like an elephant in the room, and I was thinking about it the entire time-"

"- You were thinking about it the entire time?" he asks, looking over at me with that... UGH, THAT LOOK.

I feel those butterflies reviving in my stomach again.

"I mean..." I begin, attempting to regain my composure, but the nervousness continues to intensify.

He just stares over at me as though he's proud that I'm flustered.

"I thought about it too," he remarks, nonchalant in his baritone delivery.

I gulp, and I just hope it's not audible. Before I can say anything else, he quickly cuts in...

"I apologize for that night. I don't know what... I think it was just so much on my plate, and, uh... Yeah, I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Do you regret it?" I ask, wanting to know where he stands.

"I mean, I wouldn't say I regret it, but..."

He sighs and looks over at me again, narrowing his eyes and scrunching his brow as though he's uncomfortable.

"Fuck- I dunno Lacie. I just didn't want that to be our relationship. Not like that I mean..."

"Oh, so you wanted us to stay friends?"

"Yeah. I feel like I ruined that, and I took advantage of you."

"Yeah, I felt like I took advantage of you, though. I mean, I was the one on top of you."

And there it is. I had been scrutinizing his face, searching for any signs of a reaction, and I find it. A subtle wince, and even in the dim light, I can discern a slight darkening of his cheeks.

Oooo, I made him blush again.

"Yes... yes, you were," is all he says.

Numerous questions about that night flood my mind, but I have a hunch that delving into them would either push him away or amplify the awkwardness of the moment. I don't want to look like a pervert like that's the only thing I'm focusing on.