Request by: Sonia_Nvrm
TRIGGER WARNING: Derogatory language
Nothing feels worse than looking at yourself in the mirror and hating what you see.
No, jungwon wasn't overweight, no jungwon wasn't ugly, no jungwon didn't have bad skin.
That's what made it even more confusing.
In the mirror was an attractive young man with smooth skin, shiny hair, and a fit body.
The problem was, he saw a man in the mirror. Only a man.
Jungwon wasn't sure when these feelings started, he knew that he felt differently about himself then other boys his age did, he knew he felt uncomfortable in men's clothing sometimes, and he knew that he preferred having longer hair.
He didn't think anything of it for most of his teenage years, he was far too busy with training so he couldn't focus on that aspect of him.
Now he had been debuted for a few years and even after all this time those feelings never went away.
He didn't know what this meant really, he didn't hate being a man, but sometimes he wished he looked more like a girl. Sometimes he wanted to throw on a skirt or do some fun makeup with huge eyelashes like all the female idols wear.
When the staff cut his hair he always felt a weird pain in his chest, like he was losing apart of himself instead of just getting a haircut.
He had been thinking about himself for a while, trying to figure out why he felt so strange and he stumbled across an influencer on tiktok that caught his attention.
Their story sounded a lot like his and when the person said the words "non-binary" something clicked in jungwon's brain.
"non-binary? He didn't have to identify as one or the other, he could express both sides of himself?
That seemed unheard of, he had never met anyone like that before.
Since then, jungwon requested to keep his hair long, he never told the members why, but he was happy they didn't ask him.
The members didn't bat an eye when jungwon would wear bright makeup or put shiny clips in his hair, and none of them really noticed when jungwon would wear feminine clothing either.
Jungwon was finally starting to feel comfortable with the way he dressed and presented himself, though being addressed as "he" felt a bit uncomfortable for him, he wasn't sure what else to be called.
One day during an off day, jungwon had planned a video chat with his family. He dressed his very best and spent a long time on his makeup to make sure it was perfect.
When his parents appeared on the screen and smiled from ear to ear greeting them happily.
"jungwon-ah!! my sweet boy how are you!?" his mother squealed.
"mom! Dad! I'm doing good! How are you guys??"
"we're doing alright son, hey, what are you wearing?" his father suddenly asked.
"oh! This is my new outfit."
"are...are you wearing a skirt?"
Jungwon didn't like the tone of his father's voice.
"um...yes..."
His father looked confused and a bit disgusted.
"why on earth are you dressed like a girl!?"
