Summer Nights

Temptation

After meeting with Kevin, we another drink and Nick went around greeting other business partners. A whole hour later we finally made our way to the parking lot towards our cars. I hadn't said much after our encounter, my brain was trying to process this whole night. 

Kevin's lame explanation, which I know was directed at me kept running through my mind. How could he think that I would believe him. He'd stopped writing. He'd pretended not to know me. Worse, he was there with her. 

"Are you ok?" Nick asked me again, interrupting the argument I was having with myself for even thinking of believing Kevin's lame story.

"I'm good...just thinking of what a small world we live in. You found your friend after all these years and he wants to join the company" I groaned, leaning against the car. 

I looked up at his tall frame and he was smiling at me charmingly. He took a step forward pinning me to my car. "I wanna kiss you right now!"

"What?" I looked up at him confused, then he leaned down and kissed me. Oddly I found myself kissing him back. I could blame it on the alcohol or just the need to have someone want me again.

As we parted I looked down at the ground and he chuckled nervously "How about I show you my apartment?" my mouth slightly dropped at the suggestion, he must have noticed cause he quickly cleared his throat and smiled. "I'm sorry that was way to forward...but...I like you"

I couldn't help but smile, the girls at the office did nothing but talk about how wonderful and good looking he was. How they would give anything for him to ask them out, and here he was asking me to go home with him. 

I wanted to say no, but I also wanted to say yes.

Hours later I awoke to the sound of classical music playing in the background, my head throbbing overpoweringly. I looked around a little disoriented and realized that my answer had been...YES, to the last question I had been asked last night. It was five in the morning, I was in Nick's apartment, in his room, on his bed with nothing but some really nice satin sheets around me.

Granted, I should have been pleased, but I was very disappointed in myself for falling into temptation with a man...a man that was my boss. As much as I tried remembering last night I couldn't get not one image into my head. Giving up on trying to remember and realizing what I had done, gave me the objective of getting my clothes and the hell out of there, hopefully without being noticed.

This bed was exaggeratedly huge, so big I couldn't even make my way off. When I finally managed to find the end of it, I was so caught in the sheets that I fell off and landed face first on the wooden floor. Cursing at myself and covering back up, I began to get up, and found myself staring into Nick's eyes.

"Morning...are you ok?" He stood there just in some black sweatpants, his muscular chest bare and a huge grin on his face "Let me help you up" he grabbed hold of my arm pulling me up gently.

"Um...I want you to know that I do NOT do this kind of thing. I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me..." I was trying to find the exact words to justify myself, but it wasn't working. I was just stammering with my words and making no sense.

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes and stood there for a second.

His laughter brought me back to my senses "You're funny, listen I like you Sam. I mean, this could be something good or a night of fun and great sex..." he looked at me or was he looking down at me. Wanting to kick my own ass for being such an idiot, I made my way around the apartment looking for my clothes. "Hey don't be offended, I never take the girls at work seriously, but you are different."

I stopped abruptly, making him collide with my backside. "You're a pig!" I exclaimed, forgetting that this was the man that I respected eight hours a day, forty hours a week, not to mention signed my paycheck. "Don't worry I wasn't expecting you to sweep me off my feet and marry me." I snapped, finally finding my dress and bra on the sofa. I continued my search for the rest of my undergarments.

"How the hell am I a pig?" 

I huffed, blowing my messy hair out of my face. "You just made it sound like you screw all your employees!" I pushed past him, still on the hunt for the rest of my clothes.

"Sam...don't take this the wrong way, I just said I like you. I'm giving you the option to choose what happens after this." I scrunched my eyebrows in utter disgust and disappointment, while putting on my bra. I was angry at myself, but taking it all out on him. He ran the side of his hand down my bare back "Sam are you listening to me?"

I flinched now at his touch, and I was embarrassed and flushed all over again. Faking a smile I slipped on my dress, mind you that I couldn't find my underwear. What the hell happened last night?

"I'm not ready...I can't have a relationship with you...you're my boss. Nick! We are good. I wasn't expecting anything from you anyways, this was just sex." it had slipped my mouth before I could stop myself.

He frowned, placing his hands on his waist in frustration "Thanks for the honesty...fine, your car is downstairs. I had someone drive it here. I'm sorry...I didn't think that this would be so bad"

I swallowed hard, feeling ashamed of myself for making him feel petty. "No, I'm sorry...I'll see you at work Monday." I walked out, falling over myself trying to slip my uncomfortable heels on.

Shortly after driving back home and giving my father a brief bizarre explanation for coming home the next day. I went directly to the shower, letting the water fall on my body hoping it would dissolve the scent Nick had left behind. Taking the sponge I scrubbed myself aggressively hoping that it would get rid of the touch of his hands on my body. As I saw my skin turning red, I began to cry like a small child. 

The realization that I had given myself to someone else, someone that wasn't Kevin, made me feel dirty and disappointed in myself. Sitting down and curling up under the gushing water, I continued to cry, knowing damn well it wasn't about Nick or Kevin.

I was angry at myself, for being so confused. 

Angry for giving in so easily to Nick, how could he take me seriously now. How would I face him on Monday?

Angry for letting Kevin's piercing eyes make me have those familiar painful feelings and the massive aching in my heart. 

I didn't know what the hell I was going to do, especially if he joined the company. I wasn't prepared to see him over and over.