Summer Nights

Mr. Carter

A little over a week had now gone by, and quite frankly I was giving up on Kevin. Everyday I anxiously checked the mailbox, but never had anything to read. Today a fleck of hope stirred in my stomach as I nudged the key into the mailbox, deep down I was praying to all the saints that I find something, anything.

Just as I opened it, the only thing sitting in the metal box was a small envelope addressed to me, no return address. I didn't have the mental capacity at the time to realize he hadn't given me the option to write back to him. I quickly ripped it open and began to read.

Dear Sam,                                                                                                                                                                 May 15

I know that you must think I have forgotten about you by now, but things have been rocky. Half of me is happy because I have Heidi with me, we are a family. Yet my other half is empty because I don't have you. I want you to know that I think about you day and night. Even though this situation is killing me. I also have to be realistic with you, my life has already changed in many ways, and well...I'm not sure where it's headed. Sorry I've got to get back to work.

I love you,

Kevin

Although the letter didn't satisfy me entirely I was happy to know that I was still on his mind. I sighed as I opened the door and headed into the apartment. For the first time in the four years I had lived in the complex I looked around it and hated the way the hallway was so dark and narrow, how I could hear everything that the neighbors were doing, good or bad. Just at that moment as I made my way to my own stuffy apartment, it hit me. Maybe I wasn't good enough for him.

Feeling like a pile of shit on a random sidewalk, I opened the door to find my sisters all smiles along with my father, their cheerfulness disappearing as they saw me sluggishly enter.

"Hi" I almost whispered.

"How are you doing?" my father gave me a concerned look.

I forced a smile while taking a seat with them "I'm good, I got a letter...doesn't say much...but anyways..." I turned to look at Shelly "How are you feeling?" her face lit up, it was the first time I had asked her anything in regards to my new nephew or niece since I had found out about it.

"I'm good, morning sickness and I'm growing." I smiled widely as I saw the happiness in her eyes, the guilt hitting me suddenly about how selfish I had been the past two weeks.

"I'm happy for you. Well I'm gonna..." I began and my father cut me off.

"Continue to cry over something you have no control over. I think it's time that you stop." He looked at me with the same stern look he had made when Andrew had cheated on me and I had considered forgiving him.

Without letting me give him so much as a response, he continued "Mrs. Carter gave me this application for you, not exactly what you want...with the school thing. It gets you out of the bakery thoughg. Mr. Carter, he's an architect and he's hiring a personal assistant." he stood up and grabbed a paper off the counter. "She said she will put in a word for you. I love you being at the bakery but I think that you have to do something else."

My jaw dropped a little. For years, months, weeks and days I had wished to have the guts to tell my father that I loved helping him at the bakery, but I wanted a change in my life. I hugged him, taking the paper from his hand and giving him a kiss on the cheek

"Thanks dad!"

He nodded his face showing some sadness "You have an interview at the address on the top of the application at 9 in the morning, with Mr. Carter. Don't be late!"