Summer Nights

Heidi

The yells came from a woman's voice "You're an asshole, you were supposed to pick her up today." Kevin tried subduing the familiar woman "Oh you were busy huh?" she glared at me as I stood surprised at the scene she was making. 

Man she had it bad for him.

"Amanda you can't do this...not now. You can't just choose when you want me to see her." he let her go, trying to calm her down. I could tell he was trying to stay calm as he watched her make her way towards me, he jumped on the porch. "Just go home. I'll pick her up tomorrow. Ok?"

She was in tears now, "You haven't told her have you?" she turned to give him a disappointing look. Tell me what? No, not another lie...

"Tell me what?" I asked, afraid of what would come out of her mouth. I turned to look at him, he had his hands on his head.

"He has a daughter...with me...and he forgot to pick her up, because he was busy trying to get you in bed." she turned to look at him, then me. I felt the earth fall under my feet, the shock was apparent on my face. I shook my head waiting for him to tell me that it was just her drunken outburst.

When I got no response from him, I darted towards her car and my heart sank as I watched the small child nestled fast asleep in her car seat. I felt him right behind me.

"You said...there were no more lies." I whispered.

"I didn't know how to tell you." he tried wrapping his arms around me, but I flung around "I'm sorry Sam." he whispered as I made my way back into the house, snatching my purse and my keys. Humiliation and disappointment rushed through my body, I just gave Amanda a sympathetic look and made my way to my car.

The tears and my thoughts flooded my vision, my foot pressed on the gas pedal as far as it could. Suddenly the honks of the opposite traffic reminded me to come to a screeching halt at the red light ahead. I sat there thinking that I hated myself, I hated him. I just couldn't understand how no one had told me.

Unable to understand how I had never noticed, thinking that the kids had kept the secret from me too, or maybe they didn't know either. Out of all the times I had visited their house, never had I seen the child or Amanda. Just as I came to my senses the light turned green.

The sun was already peaking through the clouds as I made my way towards the apartment, quickly looking at my reflection in the glass door I tried clearing up whatever tears I still had in my eyes. I was hoping everyone was still fast asleep.

I made my way through the dark living room towards the bedroom, thanking god that everyone was still in bed. I entered slowly making sure not to wake my nosy sisters, I wouldn't hear the end of it, if they saw my face. Not bothering with changing my clothes I threw my purse on the dresser and curled up on my bed, the recollection of the earlier incident swamped my thoughts again, causing me to burst out in tears again.

Later that morning I woke to the crack of sunlight beaming through the window. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, it was utterly silent in the place. I quickly stood up and headed for the kitchen, but no one was in sight. I was relieved, yet the trip to the bakery was inevitable.

I let the gush of the water from the shower head fall on my face, I could cry without worrying about my tears being visible, they blended in with the drops of water falling on my face. I dressed slowly and then headed to my car, knowing I had to face him, made my stomach churn.

Stepping out of my car, I saw my father hovered over the glass displays. He had a smile on his face, as he helped one of his customers. A smile grew across my face, but was wiped away by the sight of Kevin standing at the door, leaning his shoulders against the door frame, looking fine as always, his black sleeveless shirt snug against his chest, tucked in his dark blue jeans.

Slamming the door to my car, I took a deep breath and headed towards him "I know your mad, but..." he began

"Don't talk to me" was all I said pushing my way past him, my father looked up from his conversation with the elderly woman. "Morning dad"

His face was full of concern, he inspected my face. "Morning, is everything ok? I'll get you some coffee" he took the money from the lady and waved as she made her way out. Kevin went back to working on the roof as my father now sat across from me with the cup of hot steamy coffee.

"I'm fine dad...I'm sorry I was late last night..." I wanted to be strong, taking a deep breath to hold the tears back. "I have to go" I jumped out of the booth and rushed through the door.

"Where are you going? You just got here." he asked with worry in his voice.

"Sam..." I heard Kevin's voice call me.

I hopped into my little car and skidded out of the parking lot and headed home to hide away.

A couple of days later, he was finally finished with our bakery, which let me come and go with more ease. He was working on the surrounding stores, but I kept myself as far away from him as possible. I was a little saddened that he didn't even try looking for me again, he came by every morning while I wasn't around to get a cup of coffee and to greet my father.

It was late afternoon and my dad had to run an errand, so I volunteered to take over the bakery. I stepped out of my car and came to a halt as I saw the blonde with a small girl propped on her hip. As always yelling, "You don't want anything to do with her, fine I'm taking her away. You'll never see her again." She turned around heading towards her car.

We locked eyes, her gaze broke at the sound of Kevin's voice "You can't keep her from me. I'm working. I can't have her here. Jeez Amanda, you and your sister treat her like some type of meat." he wiped down his hands on a rag. The scene hurt, right in the core of my stomach, but I felt sorry for him. He tried taking the child but she swung her to the opposite side, not even letting him speak to the little girl.

Amanda made her way to the car, and tied up the child in her car seat, she jumped into the driver's seat slamming the door in Kevin's face. Dashing out of the lot like lighting, leaving him standing there, he looked up at me and headed back to his work.

It might sound stupid, but I felt bad, selfish even. I hadn't even stopped to think of his feelings. In a big way I was being selfish, the only man I loved before Kevin was my father and I had to share him with two other girls. Now I had found Kevin and I was going to have to share him too.

I would always be second on his list. I slapped my forehead and shook my dumb thoughts from my head, seriously, so he had a kid, that wasn't really what bothered me, it was how easily he could lie to me. Slowly I walked towards him, he stood staring at the hole in the wall. 

"Hi," I muttered.

Never breaking his gaze from the hole he answered almost in a whisper "Hey...what brings you here? I thought you hated me" I could tell that maybe he wanted to cry, but he was a man and from what I've seen, they never cry.

"I wanted you to know that, I'm not mad because you have a baby, especially with Amanda. I'm mad because you lie so easily to me, when all I want is...your honesty."

"She's always been that way, it's part of the reason I'm not with her. I just see her because of Heidi, but I have to work and she doesn't understand that. You and Heidi are all I care about...and I lost you, I can't lose her too." I was taken aback by the broken man that stood in front of me.

Even in dismay he looked good, with a heavy sigh I stuck my hand out towards him, he turned to look at me with a questionable look on his face. "You haven't lost me..." he took my hand sliding his fingers in between mine, a weak smile growing across his face. He pulled me into a hug, wrapping my arms around his neck. 

I hugged him tight. "I'm gonna help you. There better not be anymore surprises though?" with a grin he shook his head.