Holy crap, WE DID IT YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!! 1K 1K 1K 1K 1K, OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD. When I started writing this fic the last thing I expected was 1 thousand people to go and read it. Also, my rankings have been crazy! In Pokespe I got to #1 this week, but I'm #2.
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Yeah, guess what, I got a photo of it now. Unlike my Pokespe rankings, my franticshipping ranking was super low!
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But now I'm on #9, yipeeee! To celebrate all this madness I'll read some of my old chapters, and I'll review and rate them from 1-10. Starting with...
The love birds are at the mall?!?: The very first chapter, and because of that it's quite rusty. I edited it to make it flow a bit better, but I think I'll stop editing stories. I want to see what I used to do in the past compared to now. Now on to the actual story. Having the first chapter be about Emerald instead of Ruby and Sapphire is quite an interesting decision, and showing the parallels between Sapphire and Ruby along with Gold and Silver is cool. This chapter is just ok.
Rating: 6/10
Let's go to the mall!: Ah, the first chapter where Ruby and Sapphire aren't just mentioned! I like that these two chapters connect with each other, that was an incredible idea for just the second chapter. The dialogue here is half good half bad. On one side the simple small talk at the cafe I still like, but on the other hand the conversation at Sapphire's house kind of sticks out to me like a sore thumb. When Ruby is talking to Sapphire about not worrying about other people it's just way too quick. Tiny speech and, BOOM no more fear of what other people think. One last thing that bugs me is how their outfits are described. I have no idea how to talk about fashion, so it just feels incredibly vague.
Rating: 7/10
Nails and bats chapter 1: Big Talks: The start of nails and bats, the first story that takes place over multiple chapters. For the first multi-chapter story it's just a very basic school au. Honestly the dialogue is a lot better than before, a lot less bad spots, but I've noticed a little writing problem I have. The writing problem is that characters will be having some nice back and forth, like arguing or something, and suddenly one of them goes on a huge tangent. I will label this problem, "Speech Syndrome". It happens when Lisia and Sapphire are talking and Lisia just starts going on about how wrong Sapphire is about Ruby. That just ruins the flow a bit. Well, I spouted a bunch of negatives, time to start saying good things. The dialogue in the beginning is pretty good. The way Ruby and Sapphire become friends via a deal is pretty smart, it creates stakes too. In chapter 3 Sapphire can't beat Haruka up because of this deal. The final surprise cliffhanger is nice too, and nicely transitions into the next chapter. Lastly, the title, "Big Talks", has words with capital letters on each one, which is something I do every chapter. Is this the beginning of that?
Rating: 7/10
Nails and bats chapter 2: Literally 8 year olds: Y'know, about what I said last time about capitalized titles I was wrong. I looked at the titles just now, and it actually starts after I come back with 500 reads. Now, the chapter. I like that we have a cliffhanger, and we get the resolution in the next chapter, cause if I had spaced those two chapters out with one shots I would have been insane. My thoughts on the dialogue? It's good, again. There isn't any speech syndrome which is nice. The only problem I think I have about this chapter is that Sapphire's transition from angry to cooperative about Ruby is very rushed. I don't have a lot to say about this chapter. It's pretty uneventful, yet it's still necessary for the story to really kick off. I really do wish the story this chapter was a little more interesting. I think that's the reason I'm gonna rate this chapter a bit lower than Big Talks.
6/10
Rumors: This is going to be the last chapter I'm gonna review. I think that after this chapter a lot changes, especially because this is the longest chapter I've ever written. This is the first time I wrote to 1000 words, which is a great achievement. Rumors is also the first chapter other than Let's go to the mall to reach 100 reads. All of this adds up to this being the best chapter yet if we accept some Speech Syndrome. The idea of a tour Sinnoh takes a generic idea to a fun read. Having a fun setting in this chapter gives us nice character drama and fun interactions in Sinnoh. The interactions are ramped up even more because the Kanto and Johto dex holders are here. Introducing the other dex holders in a nice way to have other characters that Ruby and Sapphire can talk to. This chapter is incredible for only my fifth chapter, it's a step above the rest.
8/10
I'm glad I got to get my thoughts about my old chapters onto here. I think I've improved a bunch over the course of 11 chapters, and I can't wait for even more chapters to be written. Now I'm gonna give a little bit of an update. This chapter had started being written quite a while ago. I was going to finish but then school happened. I've been pretty preoccupied on schoolwork and such, but I'm going to try to put out chapters during the school year, unlike last time. It's really fun seeing how interested a lot of you are in this book, so I'll try not to let you down
