Timeless - Mal Pugh (Third book to Attached and My Cure)

Chapter 10

Hatchy's POV

It was really, really late when my doorbell rang. 

"Who the heck would be here this late?" I mumbled to myself, realizing I could have just ignored the door if I hadn't fallen asleep on the couch. 

I tried to see who it was through the window. It looked like it could be Sanchez. I couldn't tell because the rain made the window all blurry. 

I was wearing flannel pajama pants and a black sweatshirt. Not really the ideal appearance for guests, but I had to answer the door. 

When I opened the door, I was shocked. It wasn't Sanchez at all. 

Morgana burst into tears and pulled me into a huge hug. 

The initial shock only lasted a few seconds, but she was definitely not who I was expecting. 

"What happened?" I asked, squeezing her back. 

"It's such a mess." She sobbed. 

"What is?" 

"Everything." 

"As in..." 

"Everything, Hatchy. Mal, myself. Everything." 

"It's gonna be okay." I said. "It will. I promise. Why don't we go inside and talk about it?" 

She was quiet for a minute, and we just stood still. The only sound came from the soft, pattering rain, her shallow, unsteady sobs, and her heart pounding so loudly in her chest that I could not only feel it, but I could hear it too. 

For Morgana, feeling powerless is hard. She went through it when she lost her sister, and she's clearly going through it now. She's struggling, and that's not normal for her. 

The whole world is hers and she is the whole world. It feels as though the whole world revolves around her. Her smile makes everything brighter, her laugh lifts everyone's mood. When you talk, she listens. She makes you feel like the most important person in the world. 

When she has the ball at her feet, everyone around her is moving in slow motion. When she takes a shot, everything freezes. She identifies her mistakes and fixes them. Morgana LaRue never lets anyone outwork her.

Sure she's not perfect, but from an outsider's perspective, she's about as close as you can get. 

But from an insider's perspective, we see a lot of things differently. 

She's flawed, just like anyone else. She's hurt and has been hurting for a while. She misses her sister, and nothing's gonna take that away. 

Mal can't fill that hole, Sanchito, Trinity, or Sophia can't fill that hole, and even though I wish I could, I can't fill that hole either. 

I told her that last bit. She cried harder, but I knew it had to be said. 

I figured it was best not to talk anymore. So I just sat there in silence, letting her cry into my shoulder and holding her tight. 

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Morgana's POV

Coming here was a bad idea. But it gave me a lot of clarity. 

Sure that clarity came halfway across the country, but I got it. 

I have to realize something I've been ignoring for almost a year now. 

My sister will never be back. Lena will never be back. And I have to learn that I can't replace her, and I can't spend all of my time wishing her back. 

It's time to move on. 

I have a future with Mal. We have years upon years of games together. We have games to win and games to lose. We have Olympics'. We have World Cups. We have friends' and teammates weddings to go to, and hopefully one of our own. We have vacations to go on, places to see, lazy Sunday mornings, busy Saturday nights. Maybe one day we'll have a little mini Mal or Morgana on the soccer field for the first time, scared out of her mind. Maybe she'll be a winger like Mal or maybe she'll end up a goalkeeper. Maybe she won't even like soccer and she'll play basketball or lacrosse, and I'd have to teach Mal all the rules. 

I can't be hung up on something that can't be fixed when there's something that CAN be fixed. 

I let Hatchy go to bed and I crashed on her couch. I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. 

My brain was flooding with some of my favorite moments with Mal. 

Sure, winning the NWSL Championship and the SheBelieves Cups were fun, but to be completely honest, it's the little moments and memories that mean the most. 

I remembered how happy she looked she looked when we went on the lake for one of our teammate's birthday parties. She held onto my arm, laughing as the boat picked up speed, and we all yelled at Tatumn Milazzo to slow the boat down.

I remembered when we tried to paint our own house. We went to the hardware store and bought everything we could possibly need but forgot the most important thing: the paint. We went back to get it only to not buy enough. We had half of the house painted for about a week since we left for an away game the next day. Our hands were full of paint for the next day, and everyone from our teammates to fans on social media were making fun of us. 

I remembered all the time she spent playing with my niece in the backyard. I thought about all the times she's shook my dad's hand and looking terrified to this day. I remembered her helping my mom make cookies for Hayley's birthday party. I remembered when Chloe got overwhelmed at the funeral and Mal followed her outside and talked her into coming back in. 

I remembered all the off day mornings when she'd make me pancakes, eggs and bacon, and the smell would wake me up. When it was warm, we'd eat outside on the front porch. That reminded me of the time that the lawn service cancelled on me, so I asked my neighbor if I could borrow his lawn mower. Mal sat on the porch and watched me fight with it for half an hour until eventually coming to help me, showing me how to turn the stupid thing on.

I remembered dancing with her at a teammate's wedding, one of the sequins on her dress getting hooked onto the fabric of my dress. We ripped both of our dresses trying to unattach it. I thought about the way she hugged me, I thought about falling asleep on her shoulder, I thought about the way she kissed me. 

I thought about how much I love her and I couldn't live without any of that. 

I knew exactly what I had to do when I got home.