Fix Me |Phan AU|

Nowhere To Go

Toxic is playing ;)
-Miriamxx
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I was sitting on my sofa,flicking through the TV,eating Malteasers. I was up early (not that I slept) and it was Saturday, so no work for me. There was nothing good on so I just put it on some random Soap that I hadn't seen before. Not that I watched soaps in the first place. I stayed sat on the sofa for a while,watching a couple argue,snorting at the clichés. It was fun,laughing at the terrible acting.

I suddenly heard the doorbell ring. I frowned and checked my cracked iPhone. It was nine a.m.Who would ring the doorbell at nine a.m? I got up slowly contemplating if I should bring a knife. Which stupid murderer would ring the doorbell? Scrap that,which stupid murderer would be here in the morning? I shook my head and walked towards the door. I peered through the peephole to find my beloved landlord. Great. He's obviously in need of money,which I don't have. I opened the door.
"Um Stephen" I gave him a curt nod.
"Daniel Howell. You haven't paid your rent for last month and the month before that!" He said,taking out a letter from his pocket,I frowned and sighed deeply.
"You know about my money problem Stephen you have to understand!" I exclaimed. He handed me the letter,which I didn't look at.
"I'm giving you a week. If you don't pay the last rent and the next one,you're out." He said gruffly,not listening to what I had to say. My heart sank to my stomach. Where would I go? I had no money for another flat,I was way to broke. I felt my stomach churn with anxiety and my head was spinning.
"O-OK." I said hurriedly and I slammed the door in my landlord's smug face and slid down the door,sobbing hysterically.
Great. Now I have to live on the streets. I looked at the letter,which was crumpled due to me balling up my fists. It read 'EVICTION NOTICE.' I didn't want to read it. I ripped it and chucked it on the wooden floor. I didn't have money. I couldn't pay the rent. And he wanted me to pay two rents for fuck's sake! I had nowhere to go. My parents had disowned me,my brother loathed me and the only friend I had was Phil. I wasn't going to go to Phil. I only knew him for a day! He could be an axe murderer for all I know. I sighed heavily and my phone rang from the lounge. I ignored it. It was probably Phil. I didn't want to talk to him. So I just stayed there,lying on the cold hard floor,sniffling silently and wallowing in self pity. I didn't know how long I stayed there for. I just laid there,remembering everything that I could feel sorry for myself over. And that was hell of a lot. I fell into a deep slumber.

Flashback/dream
I was going to finally come out to my parents! I planned what I wanted to say over and over again I felt really nervous. I've been keeping it secret for about two years. I had to tell them,they needed to know. I walked to the kitchen,where my Mum was cooking dinner. My Dad was reading the newspaper on the table,his eyes were glued to the words.
"Um Mum,Dad I need to tell you something really important." I said,feeling slightly nauseous. My father looked up at me and my Mum put down the wooden spoon she was stirring vegetables with.
"Yes sweety?" My Mum said smiling.
I breathed in and started to say it.
"I-I-I'm g-gay" I stuttered quietly. I swear that the world stopped. My Dad had a look of utter disgust evident on his face and my Mum looked shocked and horrified.
"Daniel? Seriously? WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BECOME A FUCKING FAGGOT! WHERE HAVE WE GONE WRONG?" My Dad spat,getting up. My mum was speechless. My dad walked closer to me and before I knew it-WHAM! A punch in the face. For being gay. That wasn't it though,oh no that was only the painful beginning. I ended up getting slapped,punched and spat on. I was reduced to tears. When he saw them,he laughed hysterically. As if his own child's tears were hilarious.
"Awe is faggot crying?" And he punched me more. My Mum just left him to it,tears in her eyes as she exited the kitchen.

I knew then,how worse it was going to get.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I groaned groggily and stood up,walking to the lounge and answering without checking the caller ID.
"Hello?" I said tiredly into the phone.
"Oh crap Dan did I wake you up?" I heard a deep voice say. Phil's voice,to be exact. I sighed incoherently and spoke back to the phone.
"Yes you did but it's okay." We chatted for a while and then he said the words that I didn't want to hear.
"Are you alright,Dan? You sound a bit off. Is something wrong?" Did I seriously sound broken? I probably looked it too. I was sporting the 'zombie-eyes look' and my Hobbit hair was unruly. I sighed again,something I did a lot.
"Yeah well not really I mean but it's okay...." I trailed off.
"Tell me what's wrong." Phil demanded,his tone laced with concern? Why would someone hold concern for a freak like me?
"Well I-I-I" and then I broke into tears,my breath hitched,my nose running.
"Dan? Please stop crying. Hey shall I come over? So we could talk." Phil said worriedly. I nodded even though he couldn't see. I needed someone with me. I had to release all this pent up emotion,I've withheld for years.
"Please." I simply said and gave him my address. He told me that he'd arrive in twenty minutes. It was twelve p.m. Wow I was asleep for three hours on the floor? I didn't bother with washing my face or straightening my hair. I was too upset to do anything. I just sat on the couch,staring right through the walls,my thoughts swirling around,making no sense.
I heard the buzzer go off and I ran to the hall and answered.
"Hi?"
"Hey are you gunna let me in?" Phil said with that damned deep voice of his. I buzzed him in and opened the door,waiting for him to come up on the lift. He arrived less than a minute later. He was wearing a red and green plaid shirt and skinny jeans. I felt extremely ugly with my curly hair,tired eyes and tracksuit bottoms with a large jumper. Phil saw the state I was in and he instantly rushed over to me,pulling me into a hug. I gasped quietly. No one has hugged me since I was sixteen! I didn't hug back,I was stiff. When he let go,I invited him in and closed the door. Not once did he mention the ruined walls,how shabby the flat looked,making me feel better. I was worried about what he would think. I led him into the lounge and we sat on the sofa.
"Talk. Tell me everything you want me to know." Phil said. He looked at me with his sparkling blue orbs. I sighed and began to speak. I released all my emotions,and Phil listened. He listened until I was finished.

"You know,I wasn't always a wreck. I was a happy kid. Until I turned fourteen. I started realising that I liked guys when I was fourteen. I came out to my friends and I didn't know that they were homophobic. They spread it around the school. In less than a week,I became the least liked person in the school. And I was extremely popular,might I add. Then I met someone. His name was Chris. We became really close and we just clicked. He wasn't a love interest but he was my best friend and he knew everything about me. We were inseparable. Then one day,I was told that he had gotten hit by a car. He was rushed to hospital and I stayed by his side. But I wasn't there when his heart stopped beating. He died,making me miserable. I couldn't speak for three months after that. After that,I tried to pick up the pieces but I couldn't. They just kept on falling apart. I was really bitter. I began having trust issues and I didn't really have friends.

"Then, when I was sixteen,I came out to my parents. They didn't take it well. My Dad was the worst. He began abusing me. The minute I turned eighteen, I was kicked out of the house. I went to college for two years and I had a crappy job at some fast food restaurant. I dropped out of college after my second year. I didn't see the point of it, I was unsuccessful anyways,why study? I used to stay in hostels,because I simply couldn't afford a flat. Then I just made about enough money to get this flat and now I'm getting evicted. I don't know where to turn to." I hadn't realised that I had started to cry. I haven't talked about this to anyone,especially the part about Chris. I wiped my eyes angrily,hating the fact that I cried too much. I looked over to Phil,who was staring at me in pity. I sighed and turned away,not wanting anyone's pity.

"Dan. I have no idea how it feels like to be this way but I know how it feels to lose someone close to you. I lost a friend of mine,too. He was called PJ. One day I barged into his bedroom,to find him on the floor surrounded by a pool of blood and choking on his vomit. We were too late." I looked at him. "But anyways,You've been through so much but you are really strong Dan,I'm glad you told me all this. As for your flat problem,you can live with me for the time being. I know we've only just met yesterday but I'll be more than happy with lending you a spare room." Me,go live with Phil? I thought about it for a bit. Maybe I can trust him. I mean I've told him most of the things that I've experienced and he told me something private. And I needed somewhere to stay.
"Yes Phil. I will stay with you,thank you so much. For everything. I really appreciate it." I said,tears welling up in my eyes yet again!
"Great. You can move in tomorrow afternoon,so get yourself sorted like,right now." Phil said,standing up. I followed suit and we decided that he'd leave for now,for me to Stephen that I'm leaving and to get packed. He would get me tomorrow.

I just hoped nothing would go wrong.