Transformers: Eradication

Part 8: Overload's Totally Normal Escapades

It's very early in the morning at the Decepticon's base. Hightower has challenged Scavenger to a rematch in table tennis. It is their favorite human sport after swimming, water polo, football, and of course knitting. Because of Hightower's disadvantage he loses once again.

High: (flustered) "I hate this! I suck at everything!"

Scavenge: (reassuring) "Hey that's not true."

High: "You have legs, I can't move to the left and right as fast as you!"

Scavenger: "Hey you're good at other things"

High: "Like what?"

Scavenge: "Uh..... you're good at lifting, getting stuff to high places, running dudes over, destroying things, lifting..... lifting... and did I mention lifting?"

High: "Three times."

Scavenge: "Oh and you're fun to play with in table tennis... I think."

High: "Whatever."

Hightower rolls off in a huff, and accidentally runs over Starscream's foot in the process.

Scream: (frustrated) "You cursed cretin! Watch where you're driving!"

High: "Geez sorry!"

Starscream angrily storms off, and finds himself watching Mixmaster praising Megatron.

Mix: (brown nosing) "Who's the best Decepticon leader? You are!"

Buzzsaw: "No doubt."

Starscream scowls with the kind of hatred that would set the whole place on fire. His eyes are filled with such malevolent intent, but those who know him understand it's well justified. He looks up to the ceiling, speaking in a surprisingly lost and sincere tone.

Scream: (vengeful) "Soon, someday soon we will be avenged and finally make them pay. I promise you.... revenge."

Meanwhile Longhaul and Sideways are walking along talking about numerous topics.

Longhaul: "This one time I had to carry a hundred Energon cubes halfway across the planet!"

Sideways: "You think that's bad? Try being born to thieves, bandits, and murderers. Have every day be live or die."

Longhaul: "Well you just had to up the ante exponentially didn't you?"

Sideways: -shrugs- "It's what I do best."

They both see Hightower grumpily treading along, and Longhaul lets out a big sigh.

High (grumbling) "Stupid life, stupid crane, stupid Scavenger, stupid game, stupid Beasthunters!"

Sideways: "What is it?"

Longhaul: "My inner good samaritan is acting up again."

Sideways: (teasing) "Well look at you mister nice guy."

Longhaul: "Quiet you! I got to go see what has Hightower upset."

Sideways: "Good luck with that. He seems like a headcase."

Longhaul: "You have no idea."

Longhaul stops Hightower in an attempt to comfort him.

Longhaul: "What's going on Hightower?"

High: -sniff- "I suck at everything."

Longhaul: "This again huh? Well you're good at stuff.... like lifting."

High: "Dammit that's what Scavenger said!"

Longhaul: "Oh, sorry."

High: "I'm just a crane with arms and face, I can only offer so much."

Longhaul: "Tell you what, we can do whatever you want today."

High: "Really?"

Longhaul: "Yeah whatever you want to do I'll go with you."

Hightower pauses, thinking of what he could possibly want to do with Longhaul for the day. Then it hits him, just like a nail to the head.

High: "I want to go on an adventure."

Longhaul: "Sure what kind?"

High: "The wacky kind."

Longhaul "How wacky?"

High: "Not how wacky, who wacky."

Longhaul is confused by what Hightower meant by who, but then he understands. Like a PTSD victim he starts shaking, his eyes shrink to miniscule levels, and he just blankly stares at Hightower.

Longhaul: (horrified) "No.... you couldn't mean it."

High: "I do."

Longhaul: "Overload?"

High: "Yes."

Longhaul: "Don't you know what happened last time we let Overload be in charge of a day?"

High: "No, what happened?"

Longhaul: "He trapped Scrapper and Scavenger under an iceberg for five hours."

High: "So?"

Longhaul: "And they came out pregnant. Pregnant! It's impossible but it happened anyway."

High: "Sounds hot, let's do it!"

Longhaul: "Me and my big mouth. Hey Sideways do you want to join us?"

Sideways: I've seen a lot of crazy in my life, I'd like to keep it to a bare minimum if it's all the same to you."

Longhaul: "Your loss.... or gain."

The pair reach the door to Overload's room, and they can already hear strange sounds and insanity that could only be conquered by one individual.

Overload: (muffled) "Harder Tiffany harder!"

There is a ton of thumping going on from inside the room. Longhaul and Hightower share a look of pure dread as they know their lives will forever change on this day. Longhaul puts his arm out to knock on the door, but quickly pulls it back. Hightower gives him a dirty look, and Longhaul reluctantly knocks on the door. The sounds immediately cease, and now a deathly silence replaces it. The silence is so unsettling that their breaths seem to echo throughout the halls. The door to the room slowly creaks open, and once they step inside they see Overload doing something strange. But to be fair this is by far one of the less strange things they have seen him doing. One of his claws is carrying a female blow up doll that he is slamming against the wall. Another claw is holding some red lipstick that he is putting around his constantly open mouth, but he's doing it all wrong.

Overload: "Do you think Overload is el pretty?"

High: "No."

Longhaul: "Not sure if any answer will do."

Overload: "Why have you disturbed Overload's private matters?"

Longhaul: "We have some news for you."

Overload: "Longhaul finally got the surgery?"

Longhaul: "...No, we were wondering if you wanted to lead an adventure with us for the day."

Overload: "Really?"

High: "Yeah, any plans?"

Overload: "Yes, in fact Overload has been planning a journey of self-discovery."

Longhaul: "You need self-discovery?"

Overload: "You see Overload has dealt with much Overload lately. Overload left and right, and there is so much Overload that Overload can't even overload. So what can Overload do with all this Overload around? Overload decided that he must overload the overload. In order for Overload to overcome the Overload, Overload must become....Overload."

High: "....What the fu-"

Overload: "Overload has a great day planned, but first we must go in disguise."

Longhaul: "Disguise?"

Overload: "Yes, one el moment please."

Overload slams the door and comes back out in a surprising "disguise". He wears a giant purple shirt that apparently came in his size. The shirt has writing on it. It says "Pop Culture Reference". He also wears a big blue baseball cap atop his head.

Overload: "Overload has some for you too."

Overload forces Longhaul into his room, and when they come out Longhaul has taken a major blow to his pride. He is wearing a pink dress and a blonde wig that evokes the hairstyles of the 50's. Overload stuffed two watermelons to act as... well you know. Hightower bursts out laughing at his disposition.

Longhaul: "Shut up!"

Overload: "Overload has something for you too Hightower."

High: "You do?"

Overload: "Yes, lower budget but it will do el job."

Overload gives Hightower a fedora, a bowtie, and glues a mustache on his face.

Overload: "Now we will blend in with human society."

High: "We will?"

Overload: (whispering) "Overload has duck inside his head."

High: "That's ....nice?"

Overload: "Yes it is. Come friends the el greatest adventure awaits."

Longhaul: (dreading) "What have we done?"

Overload: "First stop is the Carlsbad pier."

High: "That's kinda nice."

The three go through the groundbridge and walk around the beach. Surprisingly none of the humans seem to really notice or care about their presence. It's almost as if they're invisible.

Longhaul: "The humans haven't even batted an eye at us."

High: "These disguises must be working after all."

Overload: "They see only what they want to. Humans are stupid. Overload once ordered a nazi themed birthday cake, but instead got a subscription to Handicapped Grandpa Monthly."

They can't go on the actual pier because their weight would destroy it. Instead they opt to set out by the beach and watch the sun rise. While they watch they see a dolphin jump up.

Overload: "Dolph Lundgren!"

Longhaul: "Don't you mean dolphin?"

Overload: "Overload knows what he said."

Longhaul: "I'm not going to argue with you. Last time we had an argument you set my room on fire."

Overload: "Overload didn't do that."

Longhaul: "Really? Because it said Overload was here. It was etched in claw marks."

Overload: "....That wasn't Overload."

Longhaul: "Then I asked you if you did it and you admitted it."

Overload: "That wasn't Overload, it was his evil twin."

Longhaul: "Why do I doubt that?"

Overload: "It's true."

High: "What's his name?"

Overload: "His name is ... Not Overload."

Longhaul: "Brilliant."

Overload: "He looks just like Overload, but he has a mustache."

Longhaul: "Riiiiight."

Overload: "Hightower, you saw that dolphin had blowhole yes?"

High: "Yeah why?"

Overload: "It is same reason why Overload can never return to Seaworld."

Longhaul: "And now this nice morning is soiled."

Overload: "Let's do beach volleyball."

High: "Eh why the hell not."

The trio play some volleyball with the humans, and they are actually having fun together. Though when it comes to Hightower he has trouble moving to the ball because of his treads. One time the ball hits Longhaul in the chest, and the left watermelon gets dented, causing it to fall out. The humans see it and grow suspicious.

Man: "Hey dude that's not a real lady, it's a robot."

Overload: "Abort mission!"

Overload grabs Hightower, painfully ripping off his mustache. The three return to their base, wand they're all panting.

Overload: "That was el close."

High: "So are we done?"

Overload: "No, we must do golf next."

High: "Aw crap!"

Longhaul: "You did this."

High: "It's your fault for trying to cheer me up!"

Longhaul: "Well if you weren't so depressed all the time this wouldn't happen!"

As they fight the perspective becomes Overload's as we dare to venture inside his mind and how everything works inside. It certainly doesn't disappoint. It is exactly what one would expect. Imagine if an acid trip had conceived a child with a bath salt induced rage, and then they got into an argument over paper or plastic. Then the bath salt is all "Screw this I have money!" And then he leaves but comes back saying "Syke!" Then the process renews itself and it just gets into complete anarchy, and then complete zen is achieved. Of course that is only beginning if one to describe Overload's mind. The land is full of flowers, and all the characters are cartoony, animals, or something else entirely. Longhaul is wearing a traffic cone on his head? Why? Because why not. Hightower has giant buckteeth like a beaver despite having a mouthplate. The only ones who are immune to his insanity are Rampage and Megatron, which makes sense considering one is family and the other is his leader. Each day Overload sees people differently, it's never quite the same. These bread fairies are flying around Overload's head, and he seems to take issue with that.

Overload: "Muffin Sprites are always trying to take Overload's virginity. But luckily he has made sacrifices to the shoebox gods to protect himself."

High: "What?"

Overload: "Come, the golf awaits."

The three groundbridge to a place with golf, and of course it goes as well as you would expect. They stink at it. Hightower gets so frustrated that he throws his golf club at Overload, and the club just breaks. Longhaul in complete boredom tries to take a nap, but Overload thumps him on the head to wake him up.

Overload: "Overload is frustrated with the Spanish Inquisition."

Longhaul: "Are we done yet?"

Overload: "Not even close."

High: "What else could we possibly do next?"

Overload: "We must el troll the internet."

Longhaul: "How do we do that?"

Overload: "We got to sensitive nerd headquarters. We must go to 4Chan."

Longhaul: "Is there even a headquarters for it?"

Overload: "Yes, Overload knows the way."

They now groundbridge out to some high maintenance building ran by a corporation. Judging from the sign it appears to be for Google, but truth be told it's also the secret workplace for 4Chan that way they can control even more aspects of your lives. Overload knocks on the very front door with the lightest tap possible. A super nerd emerges from the door.

Nerd: "What do you want?"

Overload: "Overload is here to troll you."

Nerd: "You must be the username ElOverload69 that's been trolling our forums."

Overload: "Overload knows your dirty secret about being 4Chan's home of operations."

Nerd: "That is a ridiculous accusation."

Overload: "Then you wouldn't mind if Overload tested you?"

Nerd: "Say anything you want, I won't freak out."

Overload: (sly) "Are you sure?"

Nerd: (proudly) I'm sure."

Overload: "Very well. (whispers) Steve Jobs owns a PC."

Nerd: (super enraged) "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME PUNK?! I'LL RIP OUT YOUR HEART AND SNUGGLE IT!"

The super nerd runs inside, and they can see him throttling one guy and smashing all the computers in the room. He's is jumping up in down in a rage-filled ecstasy. Overload dusts off his claws in satisfaction.

Overload: "We have defeated the trolls."

Longhaul: "That was strangely invigorating."

High: "What now?"

Overload: "Overload has always wanted to do skateboarding."

Longhaul: "But you're too big."

Overload: "Overload once crushed wide load sign. He not appreciate insult to his self-image."

Longhaul: "Whatever let's do this."

They bridge out to the local skate park. There are several humans there trying to be Tony Hawk, but alas that's a dream that should be broken. The humans of course are skeptical about having three Decepticons at their park. They take out their phones to record them.

Skater: "What are Decepticons doing here man?"

Skater 2: "I don't know bro but I don't like it."

Longhaul: "Look our friend here just wants to skate."

Skater: "That crab dude? No way he's too big man."

Overload: "Overload will prove himself to you."

Skater: "Yeah whatever man."

Overload takes a skateboard and puts one of his many legs on it. The board instantly snaps in two. Overload slowly picks up the pieces with a depressed look on his face.

Overload: "Overload is experiencing feelings of sadness."

Skater: "That dude sucks."

Skater 2: "Yeah man let's go get some weed."

Overload gets another skateboard, but this time falls into one of the pits face first. He keeps trying to get up but keeps falling back in. This process repeats for half an hour. Hightower and Longhaul never strain their eyes away from the sight.

Longhaul: "I don't know whether this is hilarious or sad."

High: "Maybe both?"

Longhaul: "No not that. I hate it when people go both ways, pick a side and stick it with it."

High: "Oh."

Longhaul: "I just realized how boring it is talking to you."

High: "Boring?"

Longhaul: "It doesn't help that you only know about twenty words."

High: "Screw you!"

Longhaul: "There's two right there."

Another groundbridge opens up, and Scavenger appears from it.

Scavenge: "Hey I was wondering if anyone has seen my... what's going on?"

Longhaul: "Self-discovery Overload style. Want to join in?"

Scavenge: "Sure."

High: "Does he really have to be here?"

Scavenge: "Are you still mad about the match?"

High: "No.... maybe.... so?"

Longhaul: "It's nice to have someone I can have a normal conversation with. Plus it can keep you away from your Mixmaster addiction."

Scavenge: "I do not have a Mixmaster addiction."

Longhaul: "Then what do you call it?"

Scavenge: "Well somebody has to balance out Scrapper's negativity."

High: "That's fair."

Little did the three know that Overload had found a way to conquer the board. He just throws it across the way to pass it off as success.

Skater: "He still couldn't do it. How lame."

Overload uses his claws to knock him back, and probably killed him. He then retreats with the others back to the base.

Overload: "We must go back to base to create giant surfboard."

Scavenge: "Are we surfing?

Overload: "Yes."

Longhaul: "Might as well, it's not the worst thing he has planned, I can tell you that."

After returning to the base Overload steal some of Skywarp's equipment to suit his own needs. Believe it or not Overload had a brief stint as an engineer on Cybertron, which explains why he was hired to be a Constructicon. He left because he believed that he could put his talents to better use. And being the wacko that he is, he later kidnapped someone that same day because he felt like it. Overload's skills come to light as the others watch him create a giant surfboard. After about fifteen minutes he finally finishes his board. It's a state-of -the art design with two thrustors in the very back for maximum propulsion, and it's even large enough for all four of them.

Overload: "Linguistic sausage is ready."

High: "That's a surfboard."

Overload: "No, that is it's name."

High: "Oh."

Overload: "This reminds Overload of that one time when he took his top off and got killed by Greg Kinnear."

Scavenge: "That never happened."

Overload: "Who cares, lets ride."

Now they're right smack in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, of course there is no coastline or waves around for them to ride on.

Scavenge: "I don't spot a single wave here, bummer."

Overload: "Overload can make waves."

High: "How?"

Overload: "Watch."

Overload fires his encephalo ray into the ocean, and it hits a volcano deep down. The energy from the weapon fuses with the lava, and the resulting explosion creates a five hundred foot tall wave. Overload instinctively turns on the turbo, and they shred across the wave, but the wave is so massive that it is starting to collapse on itself. The other Constructicons are screaming their heads off, holding onto each other. Overload however is completely stoic, embracing the madness to its maximum potency. The rush of certain death has become a five course meal for Overload. He nonchalantly speeds through the tunnel of water, but that's when a shark lands on their board.

All: "Shark!"

Scavenge: "Wait... why are we afraid of that?"

The shark all of a sudden makes squeaky noises like a chew toy before sliding off.

All: "Squeaky shark!"

Longhaul: "That is my least favorite kind of shark!"

Scavenge: "What is going on with this planet?!"

Overload: "We must bridge to base."

High: (relieved) "Thank Primus!"

Upon once returning to the base Overload is fiddling with one of the monitors.

Scavenge: "Why do I feel like my soul is being slowly destroyed?"

Overload: "Because it is."

High: "Huh?"

Overload: "The Overload journey takes the soul of the wandered. Only the strongest survive."

Scavenge: "Great, so we might die after this."

Overload starts dialing on the monitor.

Longhaul: "What are you doing now?"

Overload: "Prank calling the Autobots."

Longhaul: "This I got to see."

Overload calls the Autobots, and Slingshot answers.

Sling: "Hello?"

Overload: "Talk dirty to Overload."

Sling: "I really don't want to."

Overload: "Overload will make you feel uncomfortable now."

Sling: "Oh no."

Overload: "George Michaels is in Wham!"

Sling: "That's actually correct."

Overload: "Overload's ouija board once raped an orange."

Sling: "That's terrible."

Overload: "Overload is watching you."

Sling: (terrified) "You are?"

Overload: "Always. If you want to settle this meet Overload in the nearest desert."

Sling: "I think you have the wrong number."

Overload: "Overload thinks you have the wrong phone!" (slams it down)

Longhaul: "Magnificent."

Scavenge: "Are we really meeting them at the desert?"

Overload: "Yes, Overload has surprises in store."

Overload and the others travel to the desert, and sure enough a few Autobots are there It's Slingshot, Sideswipe, Silverbolt, and Breakaway.

Silver: "We don't appreciate you making Slingshot uncomfortable."

Overload: "Overload went easy on you."

Sling: -shivers- "I want my mommy."

Break: "You don't have a mommy."