Promise » [cashton] √

4.9

[25th of March]

Ashton

Calum had told him he was coming over today, but it was 10:45 a.m. and he still wasn't home. Ashton had been up since before 6 and had tried to write, give or take a dozen times since he'd gotten out of bed. But sitting at his piano had made his mind go blank, and only thoughts of 'when will he come home?' would rise from his otherwise empty mind.

He'd decided manual labour might tire him out enough to get some sort of peace, so he was in the backyard when Calum arrived. Ashton hadn't noticed the older man's eyes on him at first, struggling beneath a large straw hat as tugged at the trunk of a shrub he decided no longer belonged in his garden bed. His hands stayed firm even as the roots finally parted the ground, and his own momentum sent him flying to the ground, a muffled thud as his arse hit the grass. He huffed, shoving the shrub away from him as he rolled over, pushing up off the ground. That's when he spotted Calum watching him, smile playing on his lips.

Ashton grinned in return, relief he hadn't known in a long time washing over him as he just barely managed to stop himself from sprinting toward Calum. Still moving fast enough that wind caught the hat and sent it whirling off behind him. Unimportant. He fell into Calum's arms before he'd really even had a chance to think about it, pressing his face into the older man's shoulder, and grubby hands fisting in the back of a black t-shirt he'd never seen before.

"I miss you," he mumbled, smelling that Calum smelt... different, but familiar? He realised he smelt like himself for the first time in ages. Like their first kiss, date, night on the plane. Funny how he hadn't thought about Calum using his body wash and laundry detergent, he'd just started doing it, when Calum came home for good he'd tell him to bring them with him. He missed this smell.

He felt lips press against the side of his head, "missed you too," without thinking he twisted for their lips to meet, and his heart stuttered as Calum reflexively shifted out of his reach "I-" he started, but Ashton had already pulled away from him.

"It's fine," he said, shaking his head, "I did it without thinking," trying to keep the hurt from his voice, "I'm just glad you came I was starting to worry that you'd already given up,"

"Of course not,"

They were staring at one another, Ashton carefully taking in Calum, a terrible feeling rising in the back of his throat that told him this might be the last of something; whether it was them or something worse he couldn't tell. He wondered if Calum was doing the same, saying last goodbyes in his mind just in case.

"We should head inside," Calum finally said, and they did in a silence that was so loaded Ashton wanted to climb out of his skin. He didn't know what he wanted to say to Calum, his mind reeled with what Luke had said the day before, and the panic started to set in. He still didn't know if Luke was right, was this just him not wanting to admit he'd broken his promise? If it was sex, then why had their first time not been... for lack of a better word, magical?

They settled in the kitchen, Ashton simply following Calum wherever he chose to go and as they sat across from each other at the dining room table. Knowing immediately he would have preferred the couch, but that was exactly why Calum had chosen to sit here. He couldn't help but twist the ring on his left hand. He'd never been a fidgety person, but right now his ring felt like it was catching at his knuckle. He watched Calum's eyes shift to it, and he let his hands part, left hand sliding under the table to rest on his own knee self consciously.