Balance: Benedict Bridgerton's Tale

Chapter 19: Searching

There was something about the man she had to admit. A mischievous twinkle in his tight blue eyes that, though they seemed stern and implacable, conveyed a sense that this was business to him but certainly nothing personal. Besides, he was someone you could not see around, literally, as he was tall, much taller than her. She had to admit that this man, while he was a nuisance, with his tall stature, dark blonde to almost brown-looking hair and muscular body was a sight to be behold.

Still, she sighed at the sight of him as he entered her shop. She had been going over a garment with her employee Jessica, explaining to her what alterations should be executed, this client of theirs was rather difficult to please. Richards, as his name was, was probably aware that the young and impressionable Jessica was slightly infatuated with him because when he had wined at her a little too seductively, she had lapsed into giggles and shyly ran to one of he rooms at the back.

And so there were alone and Genevieve and started to curse her decision to go come to work today and especially to her old shop (she had started a new establishment a few streets back) as business had been good. In the last year there had been an influx of well-to-do people moving to London from the North and that brought along clientele and a lot of marriageable young ladies.

Genevieve told herself that there was a reason for working from her shop in Mercer street, that it was nicer there, more familiar, but a small voice within had told her that she might have hoped to run into the illustrious man who was now in her proximity. The small voice further told her that she was intrigued at him.

She banished that thought though. After all, there was only one man for her, and it did not matter if this man was six feet under or not. No one could replace Alwyn in her eyes. He had been her great love, her fiancé, her everything. The loss had been, for the first few months indescribable, she knew the end was near, Alwyn had been quite ill for quite some time and his condition was not improving but the blow had been indescribably hard. The weeks that followed she was barely able to get out of bed until she had to, and her finances no longer allowed it. She had felt hollow and numb for ages after that until the last year or so when she could finally regain some of her former self again, but she knew that she had changed forever.

Her heart was broken forever, and it felt like that for three years after his death.

Genevieve had not been celibate after Alwyn's death though. She was human after all, not made of stone and in need of "human interactions".

The first time with another man had been horrible however and she had cried herself to sleep right after because it had hurt too much, all she could think of was Alwyn, the way he had kissed and pleasured her while whispering sweet little nothings into her ear.

She had then decided to deliberately keep her dalliances at a shallow level as she didn't want anyone to come close to her, emotionally, carefully guarded her newly mending heart with an iron gate.

Genevie had felt a hint of jealousy when she had realised that Benedict Bridgerton was coming by for Alina, not for her, sure, but she had soon realised that she didn't really care. She liked Benedict but didn't love him, they both knew what they were in for. Genevieve was aware that there could be never anything more between them and didn't want there to be either.

She had been with Benedict because he offered her a nice pastime, he was fun to party and forget her sorrows with, and, not insignificantly, one of the better lovers she had ever had after Alwyn. He was number one, but Benedict was a strong runner up.

"Mr. Richards", she drawled boredly, "another visit from you even though I have already told you the previous what, three times prior that I don't know anything unfortunately so my so I can't conclude anything other than you here to purchase a dress.".