Balance: Benedict Bridgerton's Tale

Chapter 18: Uncover

Hello, quick note. I forgot what the name was of the 'new' Whistledown. I think it was Canterbury, I do not know for certain as I do not reread my work and while I want to, keep forgetting to make a 'shortlist' of characters and major events as a guide. Oh well. There is some shifts in time forth and back going on in this chapter, if that reads as confusing do let me know. Just FYI, I wanted to change a storyline, initially what I had thought of for that character was way worse.

TWO YEARS LATER

It shouldn't have come across as a surprise, but it had blindsided him somehow though, he had to confess. but now the whole of London was talking about him and his failed marriage. About Eleanor and Mr Michael Huntsville who had been spotted together in a hotel according to Lady Canterbury.

"Dearest reader...

Do I have tantalising news for you.... a few days back, my publisher received a tip from an anonymous source, who shall remain anonymous that he was trying to check in none other than Eleanor Bridgerton and Michael Huntsville, under a faux name of course, at Hotel Clarence. Although Mrs Bridgerton did her best to disguise herself, she was indeed recognised, and this author believes that people should have been a bit more cautious. Then again... perhaps they wanted to get caught. It's no secret that Eleanor Bridgerton has been unhappy in her marriage to her cold and unfeeling appearing husband for years".

That last bit was a lovely dig thought Benedict before continuing reading.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures. I do not blame Mrs Bridgerton for pursuing her happiness elsewhere. After all isn't our right to be happy during the limited stay of ours in this world?" and he could not fault Lady Canterbury for that, for that statement because he agreed.

Eleanor deserved to be happy. Deserved to feel loved. He had tried in the beginning, to love her. It might have been a short-lived attempt, but he had tried it on the advice of his brother Anthony.

"Have you made an actual effort Benedict? I know the situation is not ideal, but you can make the best of it now," Anthony suggested.

The difference between him and Benedict however was that although Anthony too had been forced to marry (writers note shameless reference to my story "Last Chance") he had grown to love Mara and there was undoubtedly an attraction, from the start between the two, which was clearly visible to mainly Colin and Benedict.... It was amusing to watch as how the two looked at each other, exactly when one of them glanced away, for example. There were knowing looks exchanged between Benedict and Colin, many of time and often one of them had to do his best not to smile and give their secret away.

What had worked for Anthony did not work for Benedict. From the beginning, he struggled to connect with her. She had sought more closeness with him, really wanted to bond with him but he had not let her come close as it felt wrong, to the depths of his core.

Benedict, had, bedded her in a momentarily lapse of judgement and state of drunkenness and had hated himself for it. First, it gave her so many wrong messages, one of them being that he didn't want to give her any illusions, secondly he hated himself for being so weak. He was weak. They didn't have a wedding night as he was just so shaken by what happened and busy coping with the status quo.

They still slept in separate rooms days after the wedding and at one-point days turned in weeks, turned into months. He could see the hurt in her eyes but to him it felt wrong. To him it felt as if he would use her for his own personal gain and he didn't want that. But one day he was so drunk, alcohol sometimes helped to drive away the thought of Alina, he had found and so affected by the hurt expression and feeling guilty, also having an increasingly challenging time suppressing his basal urges against it that he had bridged the small distance from his room to hers.