Context Clues | Completed

Chapter Twenty-Two | Consequences of My Own Actions

Ryan Jae

If it weren't for the inner voice that sounds just like my mother, I would be swearing up a storm in the hospital room as the doctor tells me the worst news I could have in my entire career.

"The tendons are completely torn through. After physical therapy and surgery you'll get up to 75% of the feeling back in your right arm."

For a professional pitcher, it's a career ender. For me, it's a death sentence.

"You're saying..."

"I don't think you'll be able to return to the Eagles this season."

The doctor doesn't add on the even more depressing news that my career was probably over, but the knowledge lingers in the air, simply unspoken.

"When will he have surgery?"

Pan Young was my agent, shared with several other players in the league, and he was calmly asking the questions I couldn't bare to ask myself.

"Within the hour to stop any damage possible."

I close my eyes as I try and process the information, but the blinding fluorescent lights don't help calm me as I struggle to accept the words he's saying.

"Doctors?"

A calm voice joins the fray and I open my eyes to see a nurse wearing a surgical mask entering the room. She's wearing blue scrubs with daisies printed on them and has her dark hair tied back out of her face.

"Nurse Lee, how can we help you?"

"I came to get an update on the patient to inform the other party to help ease their worry—"

"I don't give a damn if their worry is eased at this very moment," I snap. I swear and thrash in the bed, the thin blankets getting knocked to the ground.

My arm spasms in pain and I can feel warmth spreading as I struggle, wanting to escape the hellish existence I found myself in. I know that my arm is probably bleeding again, but I can't find it in myself to care about anything else other than getting out of the hospital.

The nurse's eyes widen and she runs over to the bed, grabbing a towel tossed aside and pressing me into the bed to stop the bleeding. I thrash against her and yell, demanding to be released. Her surprising strength doesn't let up as I try and get away.

"Mr. Ryan!"

"I want out of here! I need to leave," I demand.

Tears well in my eyes and an overwhelming sense like I'm drowning falls over me as I look around the stark hospital room for an escape.

Someone quickly enters the room and yells, "JAE!"

I look over and see Du Jii glaring at me. He stands next to the bed and in a sudden flurry, he tosses his prosthetic onto the bed and I flinch as he continues to stare me down.

I stare at the metal arm in my lap and back at my coach who is glaring at me with such ferocity that it immediately quenches my anger.

"You need to calm down. Now."

"They're beating around the—"

"You'll never be able to play again. That's what you're waiting for them to say, isn't it?" Du Jii's face softens, and he picks up his prosthetic and waves it with his good arm, "I know how it feels, remember? Now settle down and apologize to the beautiful nurse for snapping at her. It's not her fault you're in this spot and for the record it's not yours either."

I nod and sigh, turning over to the nurse who is still holding a towel to my arm socket, spots of red bleeding through showing how much more I had damaged my wound.