As the Ash Settles

Chapter Thirty-Five: Confessions.

She caught Tovier as he did his morning chores. "Good morning Citrine!" He had been happier lately his new friends were a part of that.

"Good morning Tovier" She tried to pick up a bail of hay, but it was far too heavy for her. Tovier laughed.

"Heavier than they look, if you're looking to help why don't you start loading some feed into the wheelbarrow." Citrine did so in silence, "what's on your mind this morning?"

"The others are back."

"That's good news isn't it?" He ushered her to follow as he heaved two large bails of hay on each shoulder.

She followed him, "Well yes, but no."

He turned facing her walking backwards. "No?"

"Gale didn't know I was awake he said something, I need to tell you something."

"Then talk, I'll listen."

"Do you know what Bhaalspawn are?" He nodded throwing the bails into a wooden crate.

"Most of us were put to bed with stories of misbehaving kids going missing to Bhaalspawn."

"Tovier, Bhaal is my father." Tovier stopped in his tracks. A look of worry flooded his brows.

He was silent Citrine could see him contemplation. "Do you know how some drow live?" Citrine shook her head. "It all depends on their parents' station in life, but I'd bet you my land that most are filled with the teachings of Lolth before they can even fully form a complete sentence. Cruelty and torment are just a game to most. Lucia was raised like that, and she had the kindest heart I've ever known. Your parents do not dictate who you are." Citrine hugged Tovier.

"Do you still want to be my friend?" Tovier laughed.

"You silly elf, of course I do." The two worked on getting his morning chores done, and preparing for the market that day. He told her more stories of Lucia, and when the time came for him to head out she left back to Gale's.

Waterdeep in the morning was busier than most places, the city of splendor truly was that. They were going to make Waterdeep their home soon enough. Gale would have his home back.

When she arrived the others were already gathered around the table. "Are you ever going to join us for a meal?" Shadowheart looked at her. "I enjoy not having to make it myself but, it would be nice to sit and eat with our chef."

Citrine laughed, "If you all didn't sleep in so much you could. Any plans for the day?"

Astarion cleared his throat, "you could show me where you plan on moving us into. I do need to go to the market for some things as well."

The group cleaned after their meal and left for the market, Citrine picked up some more things to cook while the others picked up their own necessities.

A flute caught Citrine's attention, she looked around to admire whoever was playing. Her eyes finally found the source of the music a handsome young tiefling, couldn't be more than a young adult. His violet ponytail swayed in the soft wind.

Citrine felt an urge swept over her, his flute would make a rather nice eyepiece she thought. It would enhance his pretty features, his heart would also look better outside of his chest. Citrine shook herself, dropping her basket on the floor. She could feel the fight between her body and mind as she craved to turn him inside out.

She looked for her friends who had all wandered off the very few seconds of clarity she had she ran back to Gale's, pushed through the front door, and ran up the stairs she fought her body. Her lack of meditation made it hard to fight the urges but did her best.

She pulled heaps of rope from the trunk tying each of her ankles to the footboard. With one hand and her mouth, she tied one arm to the headboard. She tried her damndest to tie her free hand but could not. She tied the knots so tight her fingers and toes grew numb. She casted entangle upon herself, and thorns dug into her skin.

"Why?" She screamed to the empty house. "Why? I've denied my father, I've tried to help others! Why?" Tears fell down like rain. The house did not answer. She refused to let her eyes close, no more innocent blood would be on her hands. And yet her hands craved to gut the poor boy. To turn him inside out.

Hours passed before her friends returned. Citrine dared not untie herself. Karlach was the first to enter. "What kind of kinky shit are you into." She then saw the reddened eyes on tear stains on her friend's face. "What's going on?" She yelled back into the hall "Astarion?"

Karlach moved to Citrine attempting to unravel the rope at her feet. "No! Please don't" Karlach stepped back a pace.

"Did you do this to yourself? Just hang on there we'll get you out and we can talk about it."

"No! It's back I can't be until everything is okay. I don't want to hurt anyone." Karlach's eyes were large with worry. Astarion entered the room his smile dropped at the sight.

"Craving a little murder?" He walked passed Karlach. "Go get me some stronger rope and some water please." Karlach nodded to him now understanding what was happening. His eyes fell on Citrine's uncast this mess. Now." Citrine obeyed breaking her concentration on the vines. His fingers began to untie one limb at a time.

"No, we can't."

"A child could break free of these knots. I'll fix them, remember no murders till at least six weeks after." A weak chuckle came from him. His fingers expertly untied each knot, he pulled Citrine up propping the pillows to support her back. He thanked Karlach for the rope dismissing her. He gently pulled both of her arms behind her back and laced Citrine's wrist together. Lightly pushing her back onto the pillows. He grabbed her legs weaving the rope between them, securing her calves and ankles together.

"Thank you." Citrine sighed, a couple of tears still falling.

"Anything for my murderous little elf." He kissed the top of her head sitting beside her on the bed. "Now who was it? The baker, the lamp salesman? Oh no, I know the flower saleswoman?" Astarion brushed the tears off of Citrine's face.

"The bard playing the flute." She hung her head in his hand.

"What is it with you and bards? Remind me to never learn the lute." Astarion. "Now you just go to sleep and we will make sure you don't murder anyone. The faster you do the faster this is done with and you can be right back to your sweet self."

Citrine did not want to fall into mediation but Astarion was correct the faster she slept the sooner this would all be over with. The rope pinched her skin but that was a good thing. She knew Astarion would not allow her to hurt anyone, well anyone who didn't deserve it.

Astarion watched as his lover's eyes finally closed, he watched as her body drifted off peacefully until it jerked straight up her eyes darkened her body writhing to escape its bonds.

"No, there will be none of that," Citrine growled at him. Her teeth bared. "I prefer a purr but that will do."

"I should rip that ring from you and watch you burn in the sun." Her voice was low and feral. Her back bent trying to slip out of the bed. Astarion placed a firm arm on her holding her down. "Let me free of my bindings."

Astarion laughed, "I think under different circumstances you'd ask me to make them tighter." She saw Citrine's eyes flutter back as she fell asleep once more, her body jerking every now and then. He sat stroking her hair back. "One day this will no longer be something you go through. We will fix this, one day."