As the Ash Settles

Chapter Six: Hearts Desires.

"The cave isn't too far away, we have two hours till sun leaving us enough time to settle into camp." Shadowheart pointed off into the distance she looked up from her map. Once arrived at the mouth of the cave, Arabella's amulet was used to cast dancing lights, a cool hue of blue flooded the cave, Gale conjured the wicker trunk, as everyone did their part to get ready for the day. The cave was deep and had two tunnels leading off into other parts. 

"I don't think anyone has been here for awhile." Shadowheart proclaimed as she gathered firewood from the trunk. There were no animal tracks, no foot prints not a soul to be seen, though the group knew all too well than to let their guard down before settling in for the day.

The entry of the cave wasn't too large, the thick canvas Citrine had gathered was more than enough for her to triple layer the opening. Scratch and Robin seemed excited to bed down for the day. "Gale check this one I'll go this way." Astarion called out pointing to the other tunnel. 

Shadowheart stacked kindling in a triangular form meeting eyes with Citrine her hands worked by memory they knew exactly what to do to get the fire started. "I at first did not think the two of you would make it this far."

"Oh?" Citrine cocked her head while she set out everyone's bedrolls. "Why? If you don't mind?"

"You know you're my best friend right? The first person I've ever truly have trusted?" Citrine nodded in response. "Well, he used you. That night at the tiefling party, I thought at the time you were just being used like most men do, and you seemed fine with the idea of that. Then it turned to other things, he was feeding on you constantly, I had to use lesser restoration on you every morning so that you wouldn't suffer throughout the day. It angered me. Especially as we grew closer but you, you just looked at him like he was the most beautiful sunrise you'd had ever seen. When you talked him down from ascending I thought surely he was going to leave you broken hearted for taking away what he viewed as his saving grace. But, he didn't and you didn't leave him. Then you died. Your father killed you, and when you were gone it was as if all light had left him, he damn near killed everyone else from the temple who hadn't fled. I don't know how long it was for you but for us you were gone for hours. We all started mourning in our own ways. Astarion though, he was murderous yelling how if you couldn't live than neither should the rest. I feared at one point he would turn on us. Withers came, brought you back. He played coy, but in that moment I knew he truly loved you. And I trust him with my best friends heart. Getting to my point, I'm thankful you two have each other." 

Tears formed in Citrine's eyes, walked to her best friend still at the fire, hugging her. "You know I'm thankful to have you too right?" 

"I do know. It's not just Astarion you've helped from walking off a ledge but, I do have one concern." She gathered herself, "the way you were with Yenna, you were prepared to die for a child you had barely known. Citrine you do know with Astarion you will never be a mother right? I've heard rumors of half vampires but from the tales of that happening it's because the vampire who bed the person drank half a village dry, and those are just rumors I've never met one in person." 

Citrine fidgeted with the folds of her skirt. "I can't say if I would or wouldn't want to be a mother in the future, having Yenna and Arabella was nice I'd be lying if I said it didn't sooth my heart to have them near. Our lives are far to complex at the moment to be thinking of any of that. I just want my family back together again. And as for those two I'm glad they are under the watchful eye of Halsin he will be a great father to them both and to all the orphans this war has left." 

"If you're sure-"

"I am, besides it's not as if I even know what we are to him, I love him and I know he loves me, I want to spend whatever time I have left with him, his feelings may one day change. If I'm lucky I'll get 600 years with him. Hells I'd be lucky to have just one more day with him." 

"Citrine, just if you ever need to talk about him, about anything please don't forget that I am here too." 

"I know you are, as am I for you." The two friends hugged as familiar steps headed back their way. 

"My, my what have we here? Are we interrupting perhaps? We could head back and give the two of you some space." A coy voice echoed in the cave. 

"Shut up Astarion you know people can touch platonically right?" Shadowheart laughs. 

"Well from my estimations we are the only ones in this cave." Gale proclaimed, a tad annoyed. Perhaps he was looking for a fight or annoyed at the fact platonically also escaped his mind at some point. 

"If you don't mind I'd like to have a non platonic rendezvous with Citrine here."

"Be my guest, she's all yours." 

"If that's the case, my love?" 

Citrine got up from Shadowheart to the outstretched hand of Astarion taking it within her own. He led her in silence for a while walking down one of the tunnels Citrine in one hand a torch in the other. "You know it's nice to hear Shadowheart trusts me with your heart, do you trust me with it?" Citrine stopped walking abruptly, her face turned the color of a sweet fresh plucked apple. 

"You heard all that?" Astarion pulled her hand to one of his pointed fangs.

"I maybe a vampire spawn but I am still a vampire. Now answer my question, do you trust me with your heart?"

"I do."

"Very good to hear, I was hoping you'd say that. Now as for what we are, nothing special of course, you're only the first person I've truly cared for." He cleared his throat. "I don't know how to be with someone. Never mind the sex, or titles. I don't even remember if I had a partner before Cazador. I'm assuming I must have, look at me. I'm stunning, but torture will make you forget things. I know I'm supposed to come to your door with flowers asking your father if I could court you, minded in our situation I think asking your father for anything is a death sentence. I want to be with you. I want to learn to be okay with things again. I know I joke and play about sex quite a lot, it helps me cope. I like that you play back and I like how  you give me the space to learn to touch again. I don't want to feel the things I feel when I-" He set down the torch onto the cave floor. "I love you, and I want to be with you in every way possible, and I want to be with you forever, as long as you'll have me that is. I'm learning myself again and I imagine you are learning yourself too. I want to do that together." 

"I love you too, Astarion." 

"Then we love each other. I'd like for you to kiss me now." Citrine's lips met his in a smile. The two moved deeper into each other's embrace. One of his hand wrapped around her lower back his fingers brushing the top of her bottom. The other hand wrapped in her hair pushed her head closer to his. Her arms wrapped around his neck. She left his kiss exposing her neck for him. Astarion licked his fangs. "I'd like to try somewhere else if you'd let me." Citrine nodded her head. "Are you even going to ask where?" She shook her head no, trusting him with all of herself. 

Astarion kissed down her neck, he placed both of his hands on her ass, lifting her up instinctively she jumped up wrapping her legs around him the slits of her skirt allowed her the space to do so. He slowly moved down to his knees laying her down on the hard earth bellow him. His mouth traced her collar bones, a slight moan escaped her lips, as his own moved to her stomach then her waist line, he began lifting her skirt. Citrine sighed craving more of his touch, his lips moved to her legs, first kissing her ankle his tongue then danced to her inner thigh, her hands moved to grab his hair. "Hands interlocked, behind your head. Do not move them." She obeyed, not wanting his lips to leave her skin again. He kissed so closely to where Citrine yearned to be filled by him, though he never touched, teasing her endlessly. 

"Oh my sweet treat, I am excited too." Suddenly a familiar pain flooded her body, and the sweet pleasure that followed. Astarion wsa feeding from her inner thigh, more tender than her neck, more untouched. Astarion knew just how much blood to take from his lover, not too much to hurt her but enough to satisfy his hunger. He finished his meal. Kissing her thighs from where he just filled himself. Moving closer to where he knew she wished to be touched. His lips grazed the fabric that blocked him from entering her. Astarion mounts himself upon her, his fingers tracing her breasts. He leaned down, whispering into her ear. "That's for cheating, in the race." Citrine sighed with denial, her body trembled. 

"You're an asshole sometimes." 

"Oh, I know." He responded with glee.